Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Dear Lord, Thank You.

I know I share alot with you guys on this blog, I really feel like I've gotten to know (some) of you rather well even... I know somethings in life should be kept private (and I do maintain a high level of privacy inspite of this blog, as some of you would now come to realise), but I feel that hey, there is no harm in letting you guys know the following, and what's more I'd probably get a little more prayer towards the cause.

I recieved the news at about 3pm on Saturday. Dad called me up to say that after my nagging, he finally went to the cardiac doctor and got his heart checked out. He's been having miss-beats regularly, and sometimes felt uncomfortable. They found four clogged arteries, one of which is severely blocked. Needless to say that the photoshoot I had to go for the new drama I'm shooting, Enbloc, involved a rather puffy-eyed Andrea.

That night I had to shoot CarrotCake, so I could only fly back then the scene wrapped, which was at about 8am. Packed up, went home, managed to spend some time with my now 69 year old father. My mother kept telling me to be strong and brave for him, so he never saw me shed a tear or rack a sob. I'm his "little girl", you see, and it'd break his heart to see me cry... all I could bring myself to say was, "I love you daddy. It's gonna be fine, I know it."

He checked into the National Heart Centre in KL on the night of Sunday, and we returned Monday morning as he was all scrubbed up to have an Angioplasty. Failure of that procedure would mean he'd need to go in for a bypass (open heart surgery). I've never seen my father sick before, so seeing his grey hairs tucked under a paper shower-cap, with a blanket pulled up to his chin just broke my heart. I realised that he's not so young anymore, and this could well be the last time I saw my dad. He was so brave for us as well, and I immediately had flashbacks of how he used to pick me up from school, how he got mad when I flicked water on his spectacles (but not really la), how he used to sit me down on his knee when I was still little enough for him to hold my weight. I used to drive with him to go "durian hunting"... I only allowed myself to cry after we all said "Okay la! I'll see you soon! :D" to him, to keep him brave.

The surgery took longer than expected. We overheard nurses apologising to other patients waiting to go into surgery that the current case (my dad) had some "complications". My mother's eyes widened and she had to try very hard to keep it together.

An hour and a half later than expected, my daddy came out of the operation room. His skin still looked good, which means he didn't loose much blood. But an Angioplasty doesn't involve alot of bloodloss anyway. We findout later that he had a clot that was a little tricky, so they took a while to get it sorted.... but they did in the end. Dad spent a night under observation (heavily protesting, of course. Doctors make the worst patients. lol), and I had to fly back at 5pm for another shoot of Carrotcake (which was last night) which meant that I had to work till 7am following all the hospital drama.

But who cares really. I'd readily stay awake for three days, weeks, months or years if it meant that I'd be able to be with my dad a little bit longer. I felt so bad having to leave him yesterday while he was still recuperating, but I explained that I had to as if I didn't shoot it today, I'd have to do it in a week's time anyway - which would interrupt my wanting to go home then to see how he's doing.

Work is really unforgiving, I am close to telling everyone to shove it as I need to have space for myself and to travel back home... but contracts have been signed, dates have been fixed, and it'll be immensely selfish of me to interrupt the lives of other (actors) for my own needs right now. All I can do tonight before I close my eyes (at 1opm, for a change!!), is say a small prayer for my dad, to thank God for making everything move so smoothly for him. I'll probably get through this month a little more tired than usual, but I guess its a price I gotta pay for choosing to do what I do. My sisters are flying back from London and Perth this weekend, I'd love to be there but will only be able to get in on the 11th evening and will need to fly out on the early morning of the 14th (Last day of shoot for CarrotCake on the 14th at 10am.)

So, yes. Things are somewhat sorted now, not to worry. But I will be a little too busy to blog much over the next few weeks, thank you for understanding, dear readers. This post has actually been therapeutic for me to type actually. lol.

17 comments:

denise said...

Hi Andrea! I hope ur dad gets well soon and hope that everything goes well for him.

For u, be strong and take good care of urselves ya! =)

Karabi said...

Hey, don't worry, ur dad will be fine. All he wants is for you to take care of urself too. Yup

Hu said...

we are ur readers, just feel free to "pen" down ur feelings. we can't give u cool advise but we'll be here to give u a "listening" ear.

ur dad will be fine ok,take care alrite.

moby sky said...

i guess it's always tough trying to find a balance between your work and personal lives...especially in your line.

but it's good to know that you're a filial daughter who knows her priorities in life...chin up! =)

Chief Monkey said...

Dear Andrea,

Sometimes, all we can do, as human beings, is to pray and have faith, no matter what the outcome is.

There are times to be happy, there are times to be proud, there are times to love, there are times to be sad, and there are times to be grateful.

It's good you are acting and thinking sensibly, we all know now how strong you are as a real person.

Here's a kind prayer for you, your family and your dad.

May you guys remain a close-knit, loving family for a long while.

=)

Manjoe said...

loosing my mom was a painful experienced and i regretted till now for not doing things that i should do as a son.. family are forever and i hope u can balance your love and time for them.. i'll pray for your dad's recovery and i pray for u to be strong.

Pathfinder said...

Nothing puts things in perspective like an illness in the family...you and your father are in my thoughts.

You may not be able to blog, but you can write me if you need to. I know one of the region's top cardiologists...

Chin up...

Clarence said...

everything will be fine ya :D
have faith..
will keep u, yr dad and yr family in my prayers

Cheong said...

Hi Andrea

Sorry for OOT :<
This is the first time I get to know you (sorry for these cracky intro ;p ;p)

I saw your cutie face for the first time in FHM Magazine that I bought a while ago on my visit to Singapore. It was a pity that I hadn't met you that time.

In my first impression, you look very much like a Korean. Sorry if I'm mistaken, I thought you were half Korean (or had a Korean blood at least). That was my first impression about you. I think you are quite friendly, since you are actively responding comments in this blog.

I hope to chat with you more often here :) :)

Take care and have a wonderful day. Great success for your career :) :)

Cheers!

avrilina said...

dear andrea, a great l0ss might effect 0nes career,which is besides the p0int..the success 0f it may n0t seem imp0rtant
anym0re,what's m0re imp0rtant that you get it s0rted 0ut..bl0gging is a healthy way 0f d0ing s0,by venting.will be praying f0r y0u and y0ur dad...try t0 spend time with y0ur dad while y0u can ..wishing y0u all the best and im pretty sure all will w0rk well,there is still h0pe..d0 take care and n0t feel ashamed t0 cry when y0u need t0..

cck1701 said...

Dear Andrea

Know that your Daddy God loves u and ur family and Jesus Christ have been chastise so that you and your family are totally healed in Jesus' name.

May the Lord bless u and the holy spirit guide u in this trying times and that the blessing mentioned in Deuteronomy 28 be with u throughout this fy.2008

yieng said...

Be strong.
Will pray that your dad will get well very soon.
:)

senandung said...

hey andrea, been reading your blog for a while now. the agenda on your dad, you've gotta be strong. there's always a start to everything & unfortunately, there's also the end. it's the cycle of life right? i'm facing the same agenda too. but unlike me, i think you're much stronger. & of course, there always the big guy up there for you to turn to. hold on!!
by the way, i've linked you from my blog. hope that's okay. =)

SquareRootOne said...

First time reading your blog, found it through a friend's blog. I know how you felt, maybe a little worse since I lost my granma in Dec though old age illness. All my prayers for your dad, hope everything will be fine. Send my regards. Take care.

-mike-

shaannnn said...

hello andrea i hope everything's good and alright now!

(: dont worry to much okay!

Xanne said...

Hey sweetie, just like I told you the other day, I'm sure things will turn out well (though it usually takes a lot out of us in the meantime!). Glad to catch you the other day and hear your dad's better now, plus anytime you need someone to talk to, just give me a call. Sorry to be away from you in your time of need, but you know I'm never that far from you. Loads of love.

sheon said...

hey,...god speed!