Tuesday, August 14, 2007

10 Things about Girls that Guys will NEVER understand.. (so don't even try, 'cause we don't quite get it either!)


1. Shopping

Yah. We all know it. Shopping is an amazing experience to us gals.. And guys will never understand. Women can spend literally, hours on a shopping spree, when the mood strikes. Can we explain the high we get from purchasing a really nice black dress? No. And no, its not like the other 8 black dresses we have already either. This one is made of satin. You know, that shiny material. And because it makes my butt look smaller, I'm buying it in three different colours.

I recently acquainted myself with the high of shopping over the weekend. I just got paid, I went to Orchard and Great World City and managed to find EIGHT pairs of shoes (7 heels and one pair of flats). Then I had a horrible taxi ride home (long story), which would normally leave me upset for a good few hours into the evening. But the moment I picked up those bags from the taxi booth, everything seemed better. I was happy again. I can't explain it, I don't want to either. But it was beatiful. The best part of it of course was the fact that all my shoes did not cost me more than $500. Which brings me on to No. 2.

2. Bargains.
Which woman does not love a good bargain??!! Some of my most cherished items in my closet and around the apartment are things that I have paid what I deem to be below market price for. Long formal dress from Zara: $70.00. I love it more than a special exquisite piece I bought from a boutique for $250. Dining table mats made out of wood: $15 dollars. Red ruffly heart-shaped mat, $5 (IKEA BABY!).

3. Make-up and toiletteries.

I know I already have two types of foundations in my make-up pouch. But this one says it firms the skin as well! And two different types of eye cream is better than one, right? And yes I need three types of facial masks, two types of moisturisers (Day and Night, mah!), and different shades of eyeshadow. Lipstick is another story altogether; as with lipgloss.


4. PMS.

Dont try to blame yourself if we get hung up once a month and decide that we want chocolate icecream more than affection from you. Its nothing personal, really. Our body gets tender, bloated, and we feel awful, just be there for us when we moan in regret after downing the entire pint of Haagen Daz, even though we enjoyed every spoonful. And please, during this period (pun intended), AGREE with everything we say. Just nod and smile. It'll only make life easier.

5. How we can order Diet Coke with our Value Meal and then a large fries and chocolate sundae to go with it.

The Diet Coke cancels out calories, leaving room for us to enjoy the other foods we like. :D This is usually experienced during PMS, read last two lines above.


6. Why we act like princesses sometimes.

That's because we are. And we know you love it, deep deep down inside. Makes you feel all manly, right? Well if it doesn't, console yourself in the fact that this mainly occurrs during PMS, as stated above.


7. How we can sit for 6 hours in a hairdresser's shop.

And come out looking exactly the same, right? WRONG. Its hair treatments, perm, hair colour, highlights, that keeps us looking GOOD. So its not that we come out looking exactly the same; its all this effort that MAINTAINS us looking sexy. Again, we know you love it. Or we think you do, anyway. Regardless, it makes US feel good stepping out of the hairdresser's, even if it was for a 2cm trim. Again, just smile, and nod. <--- which is what all guys should do, whenever we bring back a bargain as well.


8. Going to the bathroom in groups.

Its so that we can talk about you, silly.


9. Why we say 'nothing' when you ask what's wrong; when something obviously is.

Because we don't want to be the one to start the argument, or seem nitpicky. But the bottom line is, you've done something majorly wrong and you need to bring it up with us. Press on, give us cuddles, and ge to the root of the matter. We want to know that you're as concerned about the relationship as we are, and that you would take and make the effort to resolve an issue should there be a one. Most of the time its something silly, like something wrong you said that she took personally, of which a simple laugh-it-off would do. If its something *really* serious, then at least you took the first step towards talking about it. The silence on us girl's part is our way of basically telling you, "OY. You messed up, Dumwit, please take the initiative to make it right!".


10. How we drive you crazy in every sense of the word..and you still cant get enough of us.

Because we're worth it. ;)

41 comments:

Anonymous said...

I just broke-up wif my gal after 7 freakin yrs! This is wot i tell myself now.....How do u trust something that bleeds for 5 days & doesn't die! (No offence intended!)

Beast said...

No 9 is definitely the worse of the lot.

I have encountered ladies of all kinds and they all seem to have this at one point or another - saying "nothing" when we asked about it, and when obviously it shows that she is upset about something.

When we asked about it, isn't it obvious that we are trying to be concerned and see if there is anything that we can do to help the ladies feel lady? Tell us straight in the face, or drop us a hint. Know that Men are sometimes dense or insensitive so please bear with us. Saying "nothing" and leaving us nothing to work on, yet later bear a grudge against us for not being concerned - it's really ridiculous........ =/

Anthony said...

As a friend of mine once said

"Aaah, women... can't live with 'em, can't throw rocks at 'em". He's now married with two daughters so I must enquire as to the status of his rock collection.

But we're not really THAT different (putting aside the whole PMS thing, which medical science damn well better cure soon). You search for discount shoes; we think happy hour in pubs demands, of us that we drink twice as much beer, and we can always use that discounted putter/new golf shoes/football boots/[insert favourite sport here] equipment.

Likewise, we're sure that you can't understand why we need to spend 6 hours compressing a sofa/bar stool watching cricket, rugby, or whatever else - you just need to accept it, and preferably use that 6 hour window to go get your ends rebonded, blackheads squeezed and whatever other kind of gitmo-inspired masochism goes on in beauty parlours. (but if you do, don't expect us to notice how purty you look after we've been drinking beer for that time).

And yes, we know that when you say nothing is wrong, something is wrong, but heck, we've asked, and now we've got full deniability.

And finally, as for the bathroom thing - what do you think we talk about when you are all in the bathroom? /sarcasm

Damn, I forgot I have a job. Later.

andrew said...

This is a bit long but you get the idea...

THE HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go and choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.

On the first floor the sign on the door reads : Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

The second floor sign reads : Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

The third floor sign reads : Floor 3 -These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads : Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads : Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the Sign reads :

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opens a New Wives 'store just across the street.

The 1st floor has wives that love sex.

The 2nd floor has wives that love sex and are good cooks.

The 3rd through sixth floors have never been visited ! Men are practical, easier to please.

andrew said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
andrew said...

Anthony,

A former colleague of mine gave me this bit of advice, having been married for 40years now. "Don't even TRY to understand a woman! It'll take years off your life!" It's just like those sayings on TV-'Women...can't live with them, can't live without them!'

They're a necessary need in life...just like sports, beer, gadgets...and the list goes on...BUT that doesn't mean I'm trying to say that women are objects! Hardly the case...hehe...

fazzy said...

On this entry I have to totally agree with you. Maybe its not so much the men don't get it..sometimes they know how it works...shopping, pms and all...but they just can't appreciate it like we do. You know, almost like we know what a Lamborghini looks like but how much nicer (or not) is it from a Ferrari. Ok, not such a good example...perhaps, like we know how soccer works..kick around a stupid ball which 22 men will be chasing after for 90 minutes and score a goal *yawns* how unexciting.

Anyway, I want to drop personal prop and take islamic law. today i heard seniors say its not worth the effort for 4 credits..and islamic law is the only other thing i'm remotely interested in.heard you're taking it..but what if no more vacancies? How?!

Ril said...

oh man. I hate to admit it but all those are quite true. Nonetheless, I love my lady just the way she is. Thats how God made man and lady. Men are never gonna understand women. Its the same theory why we have this thing between our legs and they have bosoms we love. We have cloned sheep, made nuclear warheads, suceeded in supersonic flights; but women will always be a mystery. And I love it that way. =)

OWtN said...

One of my fave songs by the late Roy Orbison.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VpaNZ8iJZs

OWtN said...

To Anonymous (the first postie)

Understand in part what you're going through.. here, do have a listen to some of my favorite songs yah.. take care brudder. ~OWtN

Crying:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oVv--k7uR-Y&mode=related&search=

It's Over:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZpKwGXcxbk&mode=related&search=

Only the Lonely:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHRHftnQYGI&mode=related&search=

~*esther*~ said...

andrea, i've so gotta agree with u on this entry! :)) sigh.. if onli men knows wad's realli going on with us women n not talk to us without thinking and assume things.. seriously! ><

do u usually shop urself?

OWtN said...

i guess it works both ways to a certain degree? it doesn't always have to be looked upon as a "gender issue"(i.e men not understanding women vice versa / men vs women).....

More so, diversity put in place so that there is more "excitement" in life. (:

Scorpion said...

"AGREE with everything we say. Just nod and smile..."

"Again, just smile, and nod. <--- which is what all guys should do..."

Which is what all guys should do, you say?

Is PMS a valid excuse for being a b****?

I'm sorry, Andrea. I am not smiling, I am not nodding, and I am not agreeing.

pathfinder said...

I LIKE shopping. I like women. I just don't like shopping WITH women, because we shop for different things. MY things are COOL. ;)

And I fully understand that EBONY SATIN is different from EBONY COTTON, which is different from ONYX COTTON, which... :)

"I just got paid..."

Easy come, easy go... :P

"...Great World..."

You'd have seen yourself if you were at Chomel... :)

"...I had a horrible taxi ride..."

Poor baby...but you should avoid "horrible taxis" to begin with.

So...you bought ALL eight pairs for under five hundred bucks? I've said it before...I like that you don't splurge, BUT good shoes are important (especially high heels...for tall people...with bad backs).

And you don't need to dress up to look nice...or dress down...or dress. :O

"...be there for us when we moan in regret...nod and smile."

I'm there, LAUGHING at Miss Piggy... :D

"...act like princesses..."

I use "princess" on you as a term of endearment, but maybe I should stop. I don't want to be an ENABLER. :)

And I don't need to feel manly...I already am. You've met me...you should know. :D

"...Dumwit..."

Is that a dumb dimwit...two insults for the price of one? ;)

Great post, A...even if many are taking it a little too seriously. :) Let me end by correcting Andrew...women are a necessary EVIL. ;)

Issac said...

item 9. very true..... to sum it up, women's mood are unpredictable, the day that you start to accurately predict their mood, you would most probably be a star trader and strike it out rich on the mkt.

Issac said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

but in any case, women are meant to be doted and pampered ! that's where the fun of the game is all about !! ;)

Anonymous said...

Can I?

Andrea Fonseka said...

I have to say, scorp, PMS IS a valid reason for being a bitch, if your definition of being a bitch is an emotional wreck. I know I cry at the drop of a hat, things are alot more sensitive to me, and I may be alot more demanding approximately 4 days before *the day*. Can I help feeling that way? No. Almost every month, I would burst into tears for something totally ridiculous: like bad taxi rides, how it rained and I was wearing new shoes, and I didn't have my umbrella, how the person in front of my in the queue at Burger King took waaay too long deciding and after that wait, I find out that BK ran our of Coke Light!

Also note to all: I hope you can tell in the style that I wrote this post, it was generally lighthearted, and to induce a smile rather than to be taken too seriously? I mean, there IS some truth in the post, but I may have stretched it a *little*. Just a teeny bit. ;)

Big hugs to all, Today's the first live show of LTD~! :D

Anonymous said...

Andrea Fonseka: Big Hugs are all i need sweetie!

OWTN: Thanks bro....but ALL these sad,slow songs are what i'm running away from these days.Appreciate your concerns man...
Anonymous (the first postie)

To All: Keep the comments peaceful yeah? Too many freakin wars goin around this freakin world olready.

Scorpion said...

Explanation noted with thanks, A. Am grateful that my comment survived the sword.

Good Nite ` Kimmi said...

1st i got to say, u look pretty and great tonite.

i notice some thing, u and 1 of the other lady host got the same bracelet. haha but her's bigger.

didnt know u eat mac =)
i wonder if u sit at the hairdresser's shop for 6h and suddenly 1 guy pop out from no where wif a shaver and and how shave your head . lols i bet u sure kill him LOL

mattemma said...

points noted =D

@ andrew: the shop anecdote is really hilarious, can't stop smiling to myself.

for me, i feel that guys have equivalents too, but for us guys, things are much simpler most of the time. we forget things easier (personal opinion), which is good when it comes to grudges, and bad when it comes to birthdays ><

i think there are rarely couples who understand each other completely (that's almost like "nirvana" status for relationships). and perhaps that's why they say men are from mars, women are from venus =P

God Bless,
mattemma

andrew said...

Path-EVIL they sure are! In a good way...if there's such a thing!;)

pathfinder said...

(A) If going nuts in queues constitutes PMS, I have it...and permanently. :O

(B) Like I said, people geting serious around here...

(C) I think Chia started the Sugarbabes thing, but you ended it spectacularly. :P Are you playing this by ear?

(D) I think the right people were put through this round. :)

pathfinder said...

That sounded more negative than I intended...you rambled a little (the whole show did, actually), but I think they'll be keeping you. ;)

OWTN said...

mattemma, I liked your comments above. (:

fazzy said...

As I've said before...its funny how when you're in the show, Michelle becomes "the other" one..I think she should be given more credit. She's been around pretty long and she's quite good at her job. If I were a contestant, I'd be quite comforted by the things she says after the performance...good display of EQ. (Not that you are not good too....for a "newbie"- compared to the rest - you've performed pretty much on par with the veterans. Good job! )

andrew said...

Fazzy-disagree with you. Michelle seemed uncomfortable. When BARB finished, it looked like she was nervous or even AFRAID of standing next to them when they were to listen to judges comments! Andrea and Utt looked more comfortable last night tho I'm sure Andrea must've been having a load of butterflies! Hehe! And that Fendi-asked by Andrea if can be his special one and he goes 'I don't mind'! D'OH!!!

mattemma said...

@ owtn: thank you =P

Anyway, Andrea, hope you're doing well balancing work and studies. know it isn't an easy feat AT ALL. sending you my best wishes!

God Bless,
mattemma

fazzy said...

No offence...ok maybe a bit offensive...but anyone would have been nervous around BARB. I think they were pretty scary looking...or whatever the look they were going for. Well..to each his own. I just felt Michelle was so sweet...Andrea was more spunky..different styles of hosting I guess...Not that I think either is better than the other.

pathfinder said...

"...but anyone would have been nervous around BARB."

Fazzy...I wouldn't. :P

I don't know...it seemed A was less experienced than Chia, yet more confident. I remember watching Chia as a kid (meaning "she was a kid, I was a kid")!

U was just there to party...and get paid for it. ;)

Beno said...

No offence andrea okey? You see, do you need 8 pair of shoes at one go? While $500 is alot to me... I know you earn alot of money in per month. But my friendly advice is "Be thrifty", cos for I'm from a mid-income family. And I hope you should know the situation of like everything_also_need_to_calculate_whatever_you_buy... you know what I meant? But of course it is your freedom of choices to choose...

fazzy said...

path: i expected that from you (abt BARB). and i'd almost agree with you on the rest of it. anyway, how come you watched her when you were both kids? sorry, i didn't get that. i think the long school vacation has halved my IQ..

pathfinder said...

"...i expected that from you..."

F...then you're much smarter than you give yourself credit for, because I didn't know I was going to write that!

And I watched Chia on TV (she's been around a while)...

Anonymous said...

Best article about women ever! Get it published some men's magazine to let others know more about you!

Brian Siegel said...

I enjoy your point about ordering Diet Coke, then ice cream and fries! Most humans stomachs can't tolerate that combination, but they're all comfort foods, so when a woman orders those, you know she needs to be treated with some sympathy, care, love, and kindness. We, guys, understand women want to be treated like and act like princesses, well the ones that understand women somewhat, and rightly we should oblige : ) You all deserve it with your beautiful, emotional, inspiring, and angels on Earth selves : ) Sincerely, Brian Siegel www.siegelinnovations.com Cincinnati, OH USA

Brian Siegel said...

Also, in response to #9, I have discovered that when women say "Whatever" or "Fine", those are synonyms for numerous four letter words!

Sincerely,
Brian Siegel
www.siegelinnovations.com

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