Friday, June 15, 2007

What Women Want...Pt 1

Last night I attended a lovely event by Style Magazine and Lush.fm... It was lots of fun, Thanks to Azzy, lovely lovely man. :) Met up with lots of old friends, uncluding David (Editor of FHM), met new girl Charmaine who will be joining Kosmic Films (my agency) sometime soon.

But that's now I'm going to talk about here.

This blog is dedicated to all you men out there who think you know what women want, keep playing "Mr. Nice Guy Who Is Super Romantic", and keep wondering why you never seem to be able to hold on to a girl for more than two months.

*ahem* So here goes. *Dims the lights, puts up slides ala powerpoint*

WOMEN WANT MEN TO BE MEN.
There's a reason why guys are guys and girls are girls. There's a reason why we can get away with miniskirts and you can't. When a woman is with a man, she wants the man to be the MAN in the relationship. Yes, give in to her when appropriate (like when she says she *really* wants to watch Ocean's 13, whereas you'd prefer to go ga-ga over Jessica Alba in Fantastic 4) ~ but always make it clear through your actions that you're the man in the relationship.

Never EVER (especially within the first year of your relationship):
1. Write poetry for her everynight in the first two months of your relationship.
2. Send her flowers more than once every six months (unless her birthday and valentines and your anniversary are around the same time)
3. Take her out on dates and shower her with gifts more than once a month.
4. Call her every moment of every day saying how much you love her and how the sun revolves around her.
5. Make a CD for her in the first month of your relationship so she'll know what songs make you go all soft when you think of her.
6. Tell her everyday that she's the only thing keeping you alive.

Now, the above list are things you shouldn't do on a regular basis. You *may* indulge in one or two of the above, one or twice a year TOPS, but any more than that she'll start expecting, and the moment you slip up, she'll bite your head off.

ALWAYS:
1. Assert your position as the man in the relationship. She wants to be led sometimes; i.e: No. I will NOT be going to your family dinner tonight for (enter legitimate reason here)
2. Lead her. E.g: When you walk into a room, go in first, lead her by the hand. Tell her what you'd rather do, instead of saying "Up to you, darlings-schumpkins". These little things make a difference.
3. Allow her to see that you will not stand for any form of disprespect to your status as her boyfriend. E.g: if she has a guy friend she freely hugs and kisses (on cheeks) and dances with at clubs when you're around, kick up a fuss. That sort of Public Friendly Display of Affection is fundamentally disrespectful towards you: What will people think of you as her boyfriend, standing right there, while she's dancing with some random guy who's been friends with her for a coupla years? *disregard this one if the guy is gay - but even that has limits sometimes*.
4. Now in no means does this allow you to be self centered and obnoxious. "Compensate" her by supporting her interests (her career, her hobbies) and actively look for ways to help her out in terms of it.
5. If she starts pulling the desperate "I'm depressed" tantrums (most of the time its to seek attention) - be there for her once or twice a month: listen, etc. But any more than that is just plain lame, you cannot allow the relationship to be all about her and her 'miserable life'. Tell her to strap up and face the real world: things cannot go her way always. Be logical when you explain this to her, not demeaning. She'll appreciate it.
6. Love her, but SHOW her you love her through discreet actions. You can say it, once in a while, but we all know actions speak louder than words. Buy her flowers (if you havent in the past four months), for no reason. Cook her dinner (three to four times a year). But always remember: treat her how you'd be treating her in ten years. Because if she's the one for you, she'll stay for the man you are inside. If not, you're going to be worshipping an ungrateful "Goddess" for two years before you get tired of it, and then she'll turn around and say, "You dont love me like you used to cause you dont help me put on my shoes anymore before we go out."

Bottom line is: If she wants a man, she'll go out with one. Men must act like men, and not like 'chicks' (poetry writing, flowers all the time). If she wanted all that, she'd turn lesbian.

I know this is an entirely dogmatic male perspective, and I realise that this may not work for everyone. This is simply what I have gathered through my own experiences in Singapore and Malaysia, and I would not like to claim any responsibility towards whatever negative reprocusions this advice may cause. ;) This is simply how I view relationships, and how I'd like to be treated.

What do y'all think though?

95 comments:

Hobbes said...

Agreed. However, are you speaking from personal experiences or are you just rebelling agaisnt the typical 'cina TVB watching' woman's ideals? Or rather, do expect what you preach?

Endoh Taiki said...

The real world... The real world... What's the real world? For a while I thought the mortality of the real world has gone to rest for eternity.

The real world says, "you're not a gentleman" or "you're too egoistic". Now that's the real world and the typical la femme's reactions. Many women claims the same, but how many can actually do it as they claimed? Like we all know it, actions speak louder than words.

http://endoh.blogspot.com/2007/06/lost-found-et.html

Read this and you will know what I mean.

Beast said...

Hmm, this actually sounds more of what women should do in a relationship, coz most of the time it is actually quite diffcult for us men to balance how much love we should give, and when to give, especially for girls who are more needy emotionally but not necessary unappreciative. Pardon me, but I am always a little skeptical about all the "what men/women want" lists, coz like AF's disclaimer not all relationships work the same way.


There must always be the mutual understanding part for both parties - if one feels that the other party is not up to expectations on any issue, or what he/she would like the other party to do, he/she must voice it out and both parties must come to a good compromise and work things out together to come to that compromise point. Perhaps this is why many relationships don't work out, coz both parties don't bother to work together to meet these compromises...Just my 2 cents.

Andrea Fonseka said...

I am infact speaking from experience, as well that those around me. I am not rebelling in any way, and I do realise that .. when it boils down to it: what matters most is not the 'games' you play, but the person you're with. The most fulfilling relationship of my life was with a guy that I was entirely 'myself' with, no games, no rules, nothing. And he was like I wrote: a *man*. And I loved it. ;)

Scorpion said...

I concur. Essentially the idea is to strike a balance between being a bad-ass jerk and a doormat.

And I'm sure folks here will have lots to chip in on the substance of this particular post of yours.

But the point is - it's refreshing to read such a post from you; about your thoughts and feelings, rather than your activities.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Andrea's assessment with some qualifications based on my personal experience, which sad to say is one and only one which lasted 7 years; That is why I am reading her blog at 4:30 am London time and munching my M&S Guacamole Torilla Chips.

It is true that guy sometimes do try too hard to please a gal and end up sending the wrong messages.

Guys need to understand that showering one love one occasionally with tokens of love not only make the relationship stronger but help to frame up beautiful memories which is priceless. Small daily gestures of love means more than thousands of fanciful gifts.

It is true that gals want to be lead, but for a relationship to be truely fulfilling guys need more than leading; they need to engage the gals and seek their opinions and discuss with them any options available. A relationship is a two way interaction remember.

For a relationship to last, gals and guys need to be completely at ease with themselves and behave how they would behave decades down the road. Cos it is these distinct characteristics that attract a Man to a Woman and a Woman to a Man and make a relationship whole.

YSL

Faezah said...

I agree too. Being a girl, sometimes you can't help but want the guy to dote on you but when you think about it, its not fair. One day those voluntary gestures will to you become mandatory and when the guy slips up, we'll throw tantrums. I'm so guilty of that sometimes. And yeah, I don't know if its their idea of being polite but I totally hate the "what do you want to do?what do you want to eat?where do you ant to go...all up to you.I don't mind anything" ..can you like..be a man and make some decisions? And by that I don't mean go selfish and do whatever you want to do even though you KNOW i will not enjoy it one bit. anyway, yeah...generally most of what you say makes sense. someone once said, people never change. They just pretend to be someone their partner wants them to be at the start of the relationship but nobody can keep up the act for that long..sooner or later it'll show. sorry for the LONG comment. heh.

hobbes said...

Suffice to say, inter-human relationships are fraught with so many factors and complications that there can be no hard and fast rules. Be true to yourself, if that's your thing, or be the grovelling idiot, whatever makes you happy, non?

Still, your growing legions of male fans now know how you prefer to be treated, eh?

Gabe said...

A: Do you know something? After your thoughts, it is so much easier to fall in love with you. Just be yourself and bravo...a beginning of a wonderful relationship. If your thoughts are truely from the bottom of your heart:)

Many times, we male species, always try very hard, so much so that we are not ourselves, during the begining phase of a relationship, to please someone we so called "love" ( Why "" because the begining phase are affectuation, not love.)

When you love someone, you love her for who she really is, not what you what her or him to be. Many times, we expect our partner to be who we want her/him to be. And this is very true in many relationship. Thats why, many won't last.

Have you ever wondered why our parents relationship will last forever? have you ever windered how mom can take dad's nonsense because they have on expectation from each other, they just love each other for who they are.

I especially like your comment on " treat her how you'd be treating her in ten years. Because if she's the one for you, she'll stay for the man you are inside."

Believe me, your true love will love you reagrdless for who you are. So no need to pretend to be Valentino or James Bond....:)

I believe, 1+1=1, so when you start a relationship, you and your partner have to continue to mold to be one and after that, will be constant understanding and communicating. believe me, We will change, reagrdless who you are with (even with Andrea ( if you are the lucky one), so with constant understanding and communicating, we are able accept the change and even support each other during the change period.

Andrea, Thanks dear for sharing with us your innermost thoughts about relationship. btw, what was your longest relationship?

Faz: think mine longer hee hee..but Can't help it le...Sorry..

God bless and have a wonderful relationship.

Gabe

One more last question for the day Andrea: U go KL by bus or by air this time? :)

Gabe said...

Andrea,

Your Blog is simply irresistable!!!Thanks:)

On Walks the Nite said...

Personally, my wife and I strive to follow this formula for a successful marriage. i.e Wife, submit to your husband... and Husband, LOVE your wife (in the Lord). I think this formula may apply to courting couples as well. Then again, this is a personal conviction I adhere to. Up to each individual to form his/her opinion positive or otherwise.

Just as there are some men who do not know how to be men (for lack of a better way to put it), there are also ladies who are none the wiser.

IMHO, the good thing is, I think this "knowing how to be men/women thimgum" can be taught and it should be instilled at a young age. And, people of influence in our lives have a big part to play.

(:

On Walks the Nite said...

oops... forgot to mention an important thing.. it does not mean that striving to follow the formula (as stated above), and all is well.

Off course, there are still disagreements and "problems", but... "problems" are so much more easier to handle and more often than not prevented when both genders know and live out their intended 'roles'.

hope I'm making sense?? (:

hobbes said...

Let's see what "Part 2" brings...

Andrea Fonseka said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scorpion said...

A, your maturity of thought is commendable.

But seeing all the complications, pitfalls and perils in the realm of romantic relationships, would you rather be single - and have the accompanying freedom, time, and independence?

weilin said...

Hello Andrea,

It is so great to see you mature and grown from all your past experiences in relationships.Once again,i noe is very boring to keep repeating myself again.BUT,ihave to say this....Its really VERY inspiring.It teaches me a thing or two.

Well,After reading it,I totally agreed with what you say.From my point of view,A men in a relationship or maybe not in a relationship should stay truly to he is and not what he should be in order to please the girl.

If the guy is not what he is,then the relationship might not even work out.Okie,I have said enough.I hope what i am saying is logical enough?hehe.

Have a great weekend Andrea!Great to go back home and visit your parents:)


P.S:Besides endorsing for Chomel,you endorsed for Madame Butterfly too?wow.(You look great in the pic that I saw in Vivocity)

Gabe:Ah...hahas.You are still #no.1 man.No one can beat your long posts.


weilin

miko said...

OMG! I can't agree with you more Andrea.. I'm currently in a rocky relationship with problems due to some of the things you have written in your latest blog entry... I guess a lot of it is because of my own doing.. o well.. have a safe trip back home yeah..

chocminttruffle said...

hi Andrea,there's truth in what u wrote. funny how it made me see some mistakes i'm making in my current r/s.we've been together for 4 years now and i'm one who "hopes" (okok,must have)things go my way,NEVER the highway.and everytime we argue,it's becos i'm being selfish.this entry is the BEST,by far. i hope to make a difference in my life and my r/s after learning from u =) thank you.

Gingerbread Man said...

hey andrea, wow! that is some view on relationships. Is there some guy out there that is frustrating you by not being man enuff? Orh is it just your dream guy? ;)

Yoon Teik said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yoon Teik said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Yoon Teik said...

Andrea,
The truth is, you will have 3 options here. First, you will be single forever, secondly, you have a boyfriend who will cheat on you and lastly, be prepared to be with a man who can be your father.

Andrea Fonseka said...

Yoon teik: Eh. Dont curse me like that lah. :P heh.. And honestly speaking, I have no problems being with a 'man who can be my father' (15 year limit though, no more than that. lol!)

scorpion: Honestly I really believe in the "it is better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all" principle. It is all my past relationships that have allowed me to grow as a person. :)

Weilin: thank you. :) I really means alot to me when I hear that. :)))

And to answer the other question: No there's no one frustrating me actually (it might be the other way around. if you know what I mean. ;) )But yes... I would like my dream man to be like the King of Sparta. The same kind of body also can. ;P

Yoon Teik said...

Andrea,
I am not cursing you lah...you are from Penang and I am quite near to Penang..but definitely not Butterworth..Now I'm in Singapore too. My point here is, for your own good...don't want to see you end up in the 3 choices I forsee. :)

SGPenangite said...

Hello Andrea,
I would say many girls will curse you at your back for writing this. Sadly, this kinda expectation on guys does not really apply most of the time. Many girls like to be pampered (which they term as 'dote'), be given in to bitchy demands, be treated like princess. Worst still if you meet girls who are pampered at home....

Well, I feel that your taste is kinda inclined to male-chauvinist type..... hmm..... :)

p/s: "Up to you, darlings-schumpkins" - sometimes we say this just because our minds are somewhere else and we dun really care what the decision is...... *shrug*

weilin said...

Hello Andrea,

Do you speak Chinese or Malay?

teong wei said...

Andrea,

This really make me so confused on what women really want! . As what ppl said.. moderation is the best but the girls will think otherwise , and they might think we are cheap somehow... haiz...

pathfinder said...

Since your post comes two days after my poem, I suppose it's only appropriate that I respond.

(A) This seems a little incongruous, coming as it does on the...heels of "I keep a firm hand on my men and my dogs". I let sleeping dogs lie then (pun fully intended), since you obviously weren't being serious. This, however, is getting confusing. You seem to be looking for a relationship where both parties are firm with each other, a type of reciprocity. I'm not sure that's always practical.

(B) Your dog metaphor reminds me of a documentary I caught. I was watching stags fight for the right to a doe. The loser limped off in defeat. Once in a while, a stag got killed. You know, I'm thinking I'll forego that. People are the pinnacle of the natural world, and we're still bound by our hormonal machinations? Forget the species...I think I'll go have a beer or something. Any girl who needs proof of a man's "whatever" can consider me unavailable.

(C) I'm glad you included that disclaimer about your experiences not being transferable...very "legal document". Still, you should remember that your...effect on men is not widely shared. It would be prudent of you not to take it for granted. I'm also going to go out on a limb, and say that you tend to attract a certain type of man...not, generally, the good ones. I'd like to think you're smart enough to rebuff those.

(D) If a guy wants to go overboard on the romantic gestures, I absolutely agree that he's digging a deep hole that he's going to occupy permanently. If that's the way he is, however, maybe he can go at it indefinitely? The girl could tire of it before he does...or they could match each other blow for blow. If their natural personalities are like that (I know, I'd be shocked also), more power to them. I agree with the "be yourself" advocates here (pretense is tiring), but I also agree that the man should generally lead...I'm glad you're not with the PC crowd on this. I, however, disagree about not leaving choices up to the woman...even on a regular basis. Most of the time, I don't really care.

(E) Poetry is for "chicks", writing poetry is not. Alright, that was a generalized statement...but you know what I mean. Again, I agree with not going overboard...but you've knocked poetry at least twice in your post. Just after I wrote you a poem...and I think I'm the only one who has. Are you trying to tell me something?

(F) I don't know if your former boyfriend was "nice", "weak", or both. This issue raises my hackles. You brought up the three hundred...and we had a saying in the army. Instructors would tell trainees not to take kindness for weakness. Don't look the horse in the mouth, don't try to parlay an advantage into an opportunity...you get the idea. I was in a specialized vocation when I served...and we had opportunities to train with, and be trained by, many types of soldiers. Invariably, the coolest guys were from organizations like the Red Lions or Special Operations Force...no, I'm not talking about "cool" as in "three hundred fought two million (or whatever)". The cool guys were...mellow, the polar opposites of the petty tyrants. They busted the stereotypes perpetuated in cinematic masterpieces like Delta Force Two. These soldiers were the most accomplished and least insecure, and the ones who had undergone the most harrowing training. These guys showed me, in living color, that there is strength in kindness. I'm not saying that the "weak" people you've met were "nice", but people do get the two confused...especially in showbusiness or advertising, where "loud" is better. Bottom line...don't mess with the nice guy, especially if he's "vewwy, vewwy quiet".

(G) The "three hundred", your men of men (who would teach the rest of us to be men), were bi...

(H) Picking Fantastic Four over Ocean's Thirteen is inexcusable.

(I) I await Part Two.

GH, I think you meant "affection"...but "affectation" would also be appropriate!

ck said...

*MEGA GRIN* =)

if men and women, or love for that matter, would be so easily figured out, then our world would have world peace by now. love has never been and will never be fully "understood" and explained via logic. if it could figured out so simply, it wouldn't be love now would it? =)

that's why we often hear of people say their hearts go fluttering and badabing, badaboop.. whenever a certain guy/gal walks past or stands close. even when this guy/gal is the last thing that you'd ever THINK you'll fall in love with. that's love and that's what makes the world go round! love defies logic for it operates within our hearts, not our brains.

with all due respect, IMHO, i think there is no right or wrong to love. the world is big enough for everyone of us to love or express our love the way we want to. just love with all your heart. as the silver surfer saif, "treasure your time with your loved one, for the end is near" :P

A, looks like deep-down inside ya, you are what the chinese term as a "xiao nu ren" woman... haha. ;)

out of curiousity, that 17-mth old r/s that you had, where you found your MAN, why did it end? in 300, the spartan king never found out that his spartan queen, slept with that vicious and scheming council member who betrayed his King.

in your opinion, do you consider the queen's actions a betrayal to her King ie; she slept with that baddie, or non-betrayal for the means justify the ends ie; worth it as she was doing it to garner help from the council to deploy the spartan army to save her King?

*duncha wish you had a body juz like spartans* :))

Anonymous said...

repercussions, babe, repercussions!!

Excuse me, I was an editor by profession which explains the nitpicking.

Anonymous said...

hey andrea,

have you dated a girl before?

fengshui316 said...

gabe:you oso can write long post and beat weilin one,i support you all the way.haha

Gabe said...

Good morning Andrea, Good morning Friends:)

Today is a beautiful day. The weather is so fine. I hate hot day hee hee.

Weilin: You are so sweet:) after your comment on "Its really VERY inspiring.". I went back to read Andrea's comment again, and twice. Well, really very inspiring hor..

I just wanna share, my experience too. But did not realised that I am so "lor Soh". Not too good for a guy hor. Must be short and sharp (I meant by comment) next time la :)

PF: Don't be so sensitive la. I am sure Andrea don't have that in her mind when she wrote her thoughts. She is addressing to all her fans and want us to learn from her experiences, afterall, this is her blog site. So have an open mind and enjoy all the very insightful thoughts here k. But I must say that, you are one smart guy with plenty of affection.. I got it right this time, AFFECTION. Thanks bro.

btw, Are you an editor by profession? hee hee

CK: You are cool. Thanks for explaining the 300. I was a little confused initially. But is crystal clear after reading your comment. Absolutely agreed with what you have said. " just Love w all your heart. On the "xiao nu ren" thing. Good observation hee hee. Guess if someone is so strong minded, you want someone who can subdue you in your private life, thats why, I love to be intimidated by a girl, once a while hahahaha...Not saying that I am strong ah..just TCSS here.


FS: Weilin and all of you guys are so nice and I love to be here to talk to you guys( Of course, to learn from Andrea and everyone here) you guys are profound man!. Cheers to all:). Me not competing here ah.I am not here to proof anything la hee hee:)

Andrea is like Angel, Isn't She? Hope she will be with as a long as she can. Thanks girl!

Sorry again to be so "Chiong Heai" Long breath in Canto.
I just want to share my experience too. Don't want you guys to go through what I have gone through " A failed marriage".

Wish you all having the most fulfilling relationship Always. Cheers:)

Andrea, can't wait for your part II.

Tell ask how malaysia nasik lemak taste like and show us your pic snugging with your babies k..erhh..I meant..your dogs hee hee..

Yoon Teik said...

Gabe,
How come you are responding to other's comments on behalf of Andrea? Isn't that her blog?? U siapa ni?

Gabe said...

Yoon Teik,

I did not respond to the comment on behalf of Andrea. I responded on my behalf. I am just talking to my kakis here la So don't get me wrong k. I am someone who admire Andrea alot. And has been nisiting this site for about a month. And if you notice, i only respond to those who responded to my comment.

YT, please don't be angry with me k...:)I am just a loyal fan of Andrea. Welcome:)

Anonymous said...

Andrea: Your entry should have been entitled : What I WANT in a MAN due to my experiences of the men I have CHOSEN to go out with in the past.

Regardless of the type of MAN you choose, relationships at the end of the day are boil down to TRUST, RESPECT and PATIENCE. You can only have these three if both parties truly love each other.

Quite interesting to note that you want to be led, should it not be a compromise of having both partners in the dirivng seat when it comes to relationships?
Whether you are male or female, if you stay in the same role, be it submissive or more dominating, there will come a point when one party will be taken for granted.

Agree with Yoon Teik.

Andrea, from your description can we assume that are the sort of woman who won't mind running around hoovering and doing the laundry while your men, sits in his fav armchair, with a can of Tiger beer and some kacang puteh.

Gabe said...

YT,
Just scroll up and see those who I have responed to. I know them since the first day I came here. I am considered very new here, They are the pioneers and they come to Andrea blog site almost everyday without fail. They are truely Andrea #1 fan. I am just merely responding to them because we do talk to each other also, of course Andrea will be the centre of our conversation hee hee.

You have a good evening. YT

Wonder Andrea reach Malaysia?

Andrea, See even Singapore misses you so much. Crying almost the whole day hahahaahha...:) Enjoy being mommy's and daddy's little girl again hee hee:)

|Г*~` 羼G耄 `~*ぇ| said...

Andrea, ur list of Never EVERs are actually a good thing if it was done by Mr Right. The problem is getting those 6 things done by anyone else - that's when it's just pathetic.

Imagine your dream guy doing all those things in the Never EVER list... *swoon*

Btw, I was dismayed to see u leave the screen so soon on last week's DOND. I guess the contestant didn't want u to steal her thunder so she removed u from the limelight.

Gabe said...

YT,
Jagan Marah k....

Yoon Teik said...

Gabe,
Marah? Tak ade lah....Cheers

Faezah said...

Just what I think, maybe Andrea meant was that she likes a guy to take charge but that does not mean stepping all over her and turning her into the old maid at home. She just prefers a simple guy who doesn't go over the top trying to romance her until it turns cheesy. It takes an independent woman to say what she said about the kind of man she wants. Someone self-assured enough she can handle a no-frills kinda relationship. Which is a good thing. For a hot girl like her, you'd should be glad she's not high maintenance. Perhaps she wouldn't mind at all being a Martha Stewart kinda wife...who is happy to keep a good household and be a millionaire...i mean, balance her career.

Terence said...

Agreed with you Andrea! Many ladies want a guy with personal authority, a strong sense of security whenever she is with him, a person who knows what he wants in his life with a sense of humor.

Leave some comments on site Andrea. Took some photos of places I visited.

Have a beautiful day.

fengshui316 said...

gabe:i like your comments of this(
See even Singapore misses you so much. Crying almost the whole day hahahaahha),this is the best comment from you.

It really raining for the whole saturday.haha

Terence said...

Opp...it is at www.terencelau.com

I will link 2 your site soon. I am sure more n more people will come 2 yr site in the future.

Press on! U gonna be very successful in yr career soon.

Thanks.

maverique said...

hi andrea.u said u had a wardrobe malfunction wearin dat blue dress?wat hapen actualy?did it just drop n slip exposin ur dat tings sory for askin??well dat dres quite revealin tho till de photographer had no chanc for a candid shot??b careful nxt time.

pathfinder said...

GH...

I appreciate the comments (and compliments), but I'd like A to field this one herself.

You want to know what I do? Anyfreakingthing I want... ;)

Gabe said...

PF: My pleasure. I am sure she will.

Anyfreakingthing? What do you mean? Whats that? Sound interesting man:)

Gabe said...

Good night Andrea:)

Good night everyone:)

Lovely night to tug under a warm cosy comforter hee hee..:)

weilin said...

Hello everybody!

hehe.Gabe,did u miss me?hmmm...lets look here.I havent been here for one day and WORHS.48 comments already.HAHA.

I love talking to you too gabe!eh,but it is true what.or her blog posts are all very inspiring.I just dunno what to say then juz keep repeating myself lor:)

weilin said...

I guess Andrea is surely enjoying herself back at home.hehe.

weilin said...

FS: I am not competing with gabe either!hahas.

Observer said...

PF: Your comments make a lot more sense than her entire blog on the matter. Well written.

Andrea: Where on earth do you get ideas for your examples? Leading my partner in the room? I would most certainly walk hand in hand with her, side-by-side. That is what a relationship is - a partnership. You lead a PET into the room sometimes. Slightly warped in today's society don't you think?

And item 3. What kind of insecure male would have issues with you dancing with a friend? Are you therefore not capable/not allowed of having platonic relationships with men?

The more you think about, it is possible, that someone like you may attract the 'wrong' type of man. But like he says you have a choice as to whom you choose to date.

However, reading your blog, it leaves me the feeling that you may actually choose the 'wrong type'? I do hope for your sake that this blog was written to generate attention and interest and are not views you hold true to.

Gabe said...

Weilin: Of course I miss you :) Love talking to you too:)

Actually, You don't have to say much. Your present is important to all of us here including Andrea.

Like I have once told Andrea when she commented " Gabe, you write so much, how am I suppose to answer all your questions?"

My answer to her is : "No need, Just give me a smile like this:) is enough. Because she has so may others to reply too..hee hee.

So understanding ah? hahahaha. Thats what "fans" are for right? hahaha.

Good night Andrea:)

Good night Weilin:)

Good night everyone:) have a wonderful week ahead!

Me miss Andrea hee hee. I am sure everybody miss her too:) Right, FS? :)

pathfinder said...

Observer...

Like I said to GH, I appreciate the comments (and compliments). I think only four people (including you and A) have ever responded to my posts.

I would, however, like to stress that I don't disagree with A's entire entry...primarily with the issues I highlighted.

I also believe that A writes candidly, and not just to "generate attention". I'd rather we clash over her sincere beliefs...than be in contrived agreement, you know what I mean?

weilin said...

Gabe:hahas.yeah.make it short and sweet.

Goodnight gabe!
Goodnight Andrea!

I miss Andrea to gabe!

On Walks the Nite said...

this is quite a loving blog... ppl saying gd nite to each other... so luv.

So .."Good Nite"(DOND style)... (:

Over and Out.

Scorpion said...

Andrea, after reading pathfinder's and observer's insightful comments, something tells me your Part 2 as originally planned would now have to be tweaked somewhat, wouldn't it? That is, if you haven't already decided to scrap it altogether... :)

on Walks the Nite said...

Andrea, just share from the heart. imho, you do not have to tweak anything. It's your blog and you can share whatever you wish. Ppl like it they stay, ppl dun like it.. they gripe a lil and they eventually vamoose.

So far, the blog must be good and insightful, that explains the growing hits (:.. so give us more more more more... which kinda reminds me of a song from enrique iglesias.."buy la more" lalalala

Over and Out (this time's for real)

Gabe said...

OWTN: hahahaha....kudos to you:)


---------------------------------
"I know this is an entirely dogmatic male perspective, and I realise that this may not work for everyone. This is simply what I have gathered through my own experiences in Singapore and Malaysia, and I would not like to claim any responsibility towards whatever negative reprocusions this advice may cause. ;) This is simply how I view relationships, and how I'd like to be treated."
-----------------------------------
The above was the conclusion concluded by Andrea for part1:)

We are not in the position to make a judgement based on what Andrea has written:)

I believe everybody have the right to have their own views on this and this was Andrea's view and what she wants in a relationship.

I am not in the position to agreed or disagreed with anybody. But I believe that, these are words from Andrea's heart. So, I agreed with OWTN, that Andrea does not need to tweak anything at all. She has always been truthful to everyone visiting her blog:)

Just my opinion:)


Andrea, I am also thirsty for more:P

Hope you have had a good break:)

Good night everyone:)

Andrea Fonseka said...

two words: Wah Lau.

I didn't mean to go into detail - but perhaps I should've: The was Faz views that I wrote is right: I did NOT mean to say that the man should walk all over the woman, etc. I just meant to write that there are roles to be played in a relationship, Its a partnership, yes, but there are ROLES and when CLEARLY DEFINED would lead to a relationship that (IN MY OPINION) would be ideal for me.

Handing Tiger beers to a guy sitting in an armchair's just lame lah if I'm doing laundry at the same time. Nb: HOUSEWORK IS SHARED, IF THERE IS NO MAID. lol.

I hope no one takes offence from this post, Pathfinder, I didn't mean 'weak' in a sense that they were 'nice'. There's perfectly no reason why the guy who abides by the "Never Evers" cant be NICE. What I mean by weak is that: When I Bark, he Whimpers. Observer and anonymous: I dont know about you guys but i would NOT approve of my guy dancing up close and personal with another chick, whether i'm there or not is regardless. I think its not only disrespectful, and downright wrong. And as I would not want to be treated in that manner, I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't want to be done to me either. y'knowwhatimean? ;)


ANYWAY. I certainly did not write this post to hurt anyone, or upset anyone. I simply wrote it out of a whim. Its definitely NOT a blueprint to follow for all relationships.. My sisters who are married have perfectly functional relationships, whether they kinda follow this or not I am not too sure. I know both their husbands do have a sense of oauthority around them, though, and they're pretty good guys. My other sister is (although she seems more demure than me), she has a more dominating personality. WHICH IS PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE.

*wipes sweat off forehead*

Ok guys I gotta go now, I am catching the 8am bus to Singapore. :)

On Walks the Nite said...

andrea, gabe will gladly give you eversoft tissues (3 ply mind you) to wipes z sweat offs yours forehead.

i'll get the wine&beer and we (your fans) can drink to your steady, unwavering and growing success.

bottoms up

Gabe said...

No sweat, No sweat Andrea,
We know what you mean k:)

OWTN: Cheers!:) Brother, you forgotten Champagne la...

PF must be smiling now:) Bro, you are a sweet guy la. Seriously, many girls will really appreciate you for who you are. More sweet stuff from you k. See, told you Andea appreciate you too. She says "NICE" :)

Sorry gotto go buy eversoft tissues (3 ply) and pick Andrea up soon at golden mile. Did I say pick her up? hahahahaha. Joking la. She prefer taking Bus or MRT. hahahaha..

Cheers to a wonderful and cool Monday and Andrea is back with us, Yapee!:)

Andrea, Must have put on some weight because of all the nasi lemak and prata hahahaha. Ooops, did I mention "weight"...:)

Scorpion said...

A potpourri of wisdom from everyone here. Insight begets insight, maybe this post will be the first to hit 100 comments eh?

Surely this shall not be the last time Andrea posts at length on this issue. Perhaps it would take a significant development in her life, somewhere and sometime down the line, before we can all look back here and know who's right and who's not - if that even matters.

qarezma said...

i totally agree, i've been in relationship with both types of men (exclusively, of course!) and i do want a MAN and not just a mr.niceguy who agrees to everything i say... my guy needs to have a mind of his own and not be afraid to show, and this has a lot to do with confidence, and nothing is sexier than a guy with loads of confidence

On walks the Nite said...

qarezma, my uncle was 'recently' widowed about 8 months back. I think he has all the qualities you're looking for, the only thing he may be lacking somewhat is a full head of hair and a full set of teeth. Other than that, he is a very good man with lotsa qualities attributes and yes..confidence. how? ...no kidding

qarezma said...

owtn - i think yr at the wrong site, this isnt a dating or matchmaking site

On Walks the Nite said...

i oso say.. wrong site and wrong side, but..."one never know if one never try"
...now i know.
(:

matsu said...

ahhha just realized my comment 'didn't appear'. maybe it got deleted. hmm.

weilin said...

Hello Andrea,hello everyone.

This is a comment wrote out for fun.I am just super bored.Nothing to postor comment so far.hehe,I cant wait for part 2.

Gabe:I saw the magazine already.cool.Andrea is so beautiful in that picture=)hahas.So is Maggie Tan.

pathfinder said...

GH...

"...many girls will really appreciate you for who you are."

Many girls have.

Have a good one.

Gabe said...

OWTN: Why you introduce your uncle alamak? You mean you not confidence enough ah? hahahahaha.

Do you know qarezma personally? hahaha. You are funny.

Well, qarezma, you are at the right site. There seem to have lots of confidence guys in this site. Btw, this is not a matchmaking site hee hee:)

Just joking la and wanna put a smile on you face, exclusively :), I hope:)

Andrea, Nice to hear that you have had a good time in Malaysia. Have you ever thought of being a Singaporean in future?

Have a good rest k: ) Good night ;)

Good night everyone;)

Gabe said...

Hey Weilin;)

Was just wondering where are you? tah dah...there you are hee...

Agreed that Andrea looks so good:) her smile is so natural hor..HHMMMM..:)

Yap, and Maggie looks wonderful.

Well, lets guess, which position will Andrea be next year, just for fun k. My guess is #2. Why not #1 because, being #1 in maxim most sexies is just exterior, She is already #1 in many hearts...hee hee.(Cheeky Grin)

pathfinder said...

A...

Thanks for your response.

gabe said...

matsu: Found your question. You wrote on the wrong date la:)
Well hope Andrea will answer your question. Mr CSI, Singapore:)

Matsu said "Andrea, now the $250,000 question. wld you give any of these guys who visit your blog religiously a chance to know you personally? you might find your king :)*wink"

Cheers

Gabe said...

PF: glad to know that:)

Anonymous said...

Must be years of experience.

nima said...

hello
this is nima.
i saw u two times.
my prefer is i speak with u online.
this is my id:
nima_mj2002@yahoo.com
i'll waiting for u.
i hope see u soon again.

matsu said...

男人不坏,女人不爱. means girls are attracted to bad arses. prob they are more unpredictable/mysterious than the SNAGs. or it cld be the attention NOT given them. it's more a thrill/adventure if there're more twists don't ya think? yes, nice jolly shandy guys finish last.

i like how andrea put it 'Men must act like men, and not like chicks(poetry writing, flowers all the time). If she wanted all that, she'd turn lesbian.'

IT's TRUE.

hahha gabe. thanks. i'm only human. *bangs wall.

on Walks the Nite said...

yeah man, some gals may be attracted to bad arses.. smelly ones too, but @ the end of the day, when the smoke clears and the 'dust' settles', it is the security, dependability and steadfastness in their partners which they desire and crave for (i think). (:

Adventure and Thrill may only last but for the moment... what's in it for the long term then?

A Love for Life....

On Walks the Nite said...

gabe:- no lah i do not know qarezma personally, hope she does not take offence.. i was just being cheekie as usual, my bad.

In fact, i do know not anyone personally in the Blog. Maybe one day we all could put a face to our monikers through a meet-up. It would be interesting to see who exactly are all these wise and whacky guys and gals who dish a daily dose of "ANDREAMANIACOMMENTATOS"

(:

beast said...

Haha...It would be VERY interesting to see how gabe looks and talks like in real life...

Anonymous said...

Calling M'SIAN to do their duty as a citizen against crime and for the safety of M'sian. THIS IS RIGHTS as a citizen for SAFETY. Please sign your name on this petition list. Go to this website ---> http://www.jbtalks.cc/petition/index.php

ANDREA, JB is a dangerous place now. We are petitioning so that we can have a safer environment.

Gabe said...

Andrea,
Hows your day? How's you schedules like lately? Take it easy and rest when you can k:) hope you have totally recovered from the cough:) Ooh, I am addicted to starbuck sugarfree vanilla latte, min. grande :P

OWTN: hahahaha. It is fun reading your comments, hahahaha was what I was doing after your mail to qarezma. You know what? As long as Andrea don't mind, we should continue to get everyone, visiting Andrea site, involve with each other centering around Andrea. You never know, this may be the most visiting site in no time. Primarily know what Andrea is doing, and of course to see her and secondly to chill out, laugh and learn from everyone here.

Matsu: Not worry, that what fans are for. right ?:)Anyway How's your CSI finding on Miss Malaysia World 2006 - Miss Emmiliene Ng?..hahahaha

Beast: I am just an ordinary guy trying to live in an extraordinary world hahahaha. My stats is 42-32- 35, 72kg and 1.80m tall, hahahaha. Andrea saw me before, but I think she can't remember how I look like now:)
In fact, Me also very curious how everyone looks like too. That's why I asked Andrea how she feels when she replies to people she has not seen before?

Have a good day ahead k. Cheers to all:)

weilin said...

Hello gabe,

I am rooting for her to be in the top 10.hahas.I will,of course,support her all the way man!BUT,of course,she is no.1 in all of hearts!yay.Three cheers for Andrea man!


Andrea,wow.thats a tiring schedule you have over the weekend there hehe.But,its good.Cos you get to bond with your dad and of course,your "babies" a.k.a.your dogs=)

Bye bye for now:)

Gabe said...

Yeap Yeap Huray! Yeap Yeap Huray! Yeap Yeap Huray!

Hmmm:P

Gabe said...

Scorpion: Hitting 100 comments soon :) 85 already......

Andrea Fonseka said...

Allo allo guys.

Sorry it took so long for me to post, I've been crazy busy! ~ Today I decided to concentrate on myself.. and That i did! I hope you guys dont mind me having some *me* time...

I went to the gym in the morning, had marie france in the afternoon, had lunch, coffee, headed to my Manager's office for a quick meeting, and had to make some changes on my weekend plan, got a maid to come in on Friday to clean my apartment (I got no more time to do housework), and now after watching a DVD, I'm back to my blog. :D

Tomorrow I'm pretty free for a change as well, which I will use to rest again as next week will be HELLISH! ;P

Hope you girls out there will like my latest post, guys: any feedback? :)

Gabe said...

Andrea,

Got no time to do housework? Got a maid? hmmm.

Can I volunteer? Free of charge. "Gabe cleaning company Pte ltd" :) including bathing of Demi and Skit and feed them too hee hee

I am sure, there are many volunteers here. Right guys and girls? We can do a DOND type show here and you can choose who you want to clean you place for you hahahahaha.

Latest Post? Part 2, you mean?
where got?

Rest well when you can k:)

Good night Andrea:)

Good night everyone:)

gabe said...

andrea,

One more thing...You don't need to apologise to us. You need your "ME" time once a while k, don't even bother to turn on your computer. Don't feel pressured that you have to visit your blog everyday k. ( we can entertain ourselves here :) right Weilin? Andrea, You are getting busier now and I foresee that your workload will experience a bull run in future.

No doubt, we want you to visit your blog, talk to us and post your reflections and thoughts as often as you can but we don't want you to feel obligated. We want you to keep this blog site alive as long as possible, So don't give yourself unnecesssary stress k. Regardless, We will be here supporting you always k. Thats what Fans are for :) Please take care k. And Andrea, thanks for all you have done for us. Done what?? Putting a smile on our faces, without fail:)

Wishing you all the best:)

Gabe

PS: "We" refer to the majority. I don't speak for the rest k:) peace:)

Scorpion said...

gabe: No lah. Andrea's put up a new post already. Don't think can reasonably reach 100 comments for this one anymore... :)

Jefferson said...

Its your view in relationships. Respect on your understanding & advise.
It is be good to know in ladies part. ^__^ Keep on writing.

Anonymous said...

Hi Andrea, You are the most beautiful girl I'd even seen. Keep up the charismatic and attractive smile in deal or no deal.

Ryan said...

I would add one thing.

You should always be yourself and she or he must accept this.

For the good or the bad.

I am perosnaly not a jealous person, but I am possessive. I think this simply shows you care.

If you want to call eachother you should, you should always do what is right, what you feel is right and think about what is best for the other.

If your up late speaking on the phone, it is the man's responsiblity to say 'It's time for us to sleep now'

It might sound like a simple thing, but there are things a man must be responsible for and be able to not just love, but love in the right way.

To think of what is best for your health and not just what you want now.

Ryan

dr.flynn.r@gmail.com

sean.mccarthy1975 said...

Hi

Were you ever in contact with ryan flynn?

Please visit http://rfinfo.wordpress.com/

Thanks
Sean

Anonymous said...

Thanks :)
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