Tuesday, June 19, 2007

What Men Want...(this is Pt 1 as well. ;) )

Okay this is for all the ladies out there (I cant just cater to you guys, right?)

I first need to get the ground rules straight: If there's one thing I learnt as a girl in Singapore (and Malaysia), and being really good mates with guys for as long as I can remember... its this.

Guys are actually very simple creatures.

Don't overanalyse their actions, as most of the time, it is the simplest explanation that would be the truth.

Eg: He's not calling you.
Overanalysed answer to predicament: He must be busy, or he's playing 'the game' or he's gay.
Simple answer: He's just not interested enough to take the time to call you.

Explanation: If a guy's interested, he will ALWAYS make time to call, or text you at the very least. If he doesn't (replies the next time you see him with a "Oh darling, I'm sorry, I've been so busy!) - he's just not interested PERIOD. Cut your losses, and move on.

Okay now we're done with that, we can move on to a situation where the both of you have actually been on some dates.. or you're arranging to go on your first date, whatever. This guideline applies to Nice, Decent girls, who aren't out there to use a guy for materialistic ends, or who enjoy torturing them by playing with their feelings. If you're one of 'those' girls, I suggest you change your ways cause, babe, there's such a thing as Karma, and when it bites you in the ass, it never lets go.

What not to do.
1. Talk about your exes. If guys would have it their way, they'd like to be the first and only man in your life. But they know its not possible for your gorgeous being to have gone unnoticed for more than one and a half decades. Still, no need to remind them that you've been with other guys. And its not a nice way to 'hint' to him that you've been treated "so well" and that you have expectations on him *already*. Furthermore, its an indication that you're not over a certain ex (if you're constantly talking about him). If he asks, answer as vaguely as possible, and change he subject.

2. Talk about your faults, like you're warning him. The explanation of this is simple: Subconciously we humans (esp girls) like to point our flaws out before people notice them because then it'd be like 'its okay'. Eg. Girls saying, "omg I've put on so much weight lately" in the first five minutes of the conversation, or "sigh I dont know what to do, I overplucked my eyebrows!". Remember this, girls. You're sussing HIM out to be a potential partner, not the other way around. Men are happy to have any decent woman. If you talk about your bad spending habits, your personal hygiene and your allergy to deodrants, he's just going to run for the hills. "Faults" like that aren't first date conversations; its for him to find out about them as you get to know each other, and who knows; he might even accept you for who you are and love you for you.

3. Write him long emails. This goes both for "happy times" and "bad times". If you guys are doing great and you write him a "I love to be with you" email that's about 10 pages long, its very likely he'll freak out. Remember, men are simple creatures. Its amazing that guys even read this blog (methinks its the visuals that come with it, but oh well! ;) ) - and if you send him an email like that it will sound like you're expecting him to do the same for you. Which he wont like to feel pressured into. Worse still, if you're having a rough patch, or already broken up and you want to get him back, or if you're already over him and feel like sending 'one last email' for 'closure' - DON'T. I have been guilty of all of the above many many times, and its really no use. With simple creatures, actions speak louder than words and you don't need to SAY you're mad with him and list A-Z on why he's an inadequate guy, or that You're So Over Him Because .... . Doesn't need to be done. Just tell him he's an Ass, and walk away. Once you've cooled down, talk things out if you can. What I used to do is have a blog up, and rant (by writing poetry) on it. It was a hidden message to him, and he knew it. He'd never bring it up of course, but I know he got the message.

4. Which brings me on to the next, most important point. Never Ever Mention the "C" word. Commitment, that is. NEVER bring up the conversation about "Where's this going? Are we in a Committed relationship?"... That one guarunteeeeed will send him running. Fast. No looking back type of 1000 mile sprint. If he doesn't (lucky you), he'll still be really weary, which is not a good thing. Reason for this is simple: If he's still with you, taking you out on dates, its clear he likes you. Its clear he's into you. Simple minds dont think further than lunchtime tomorrow, so guys don't really think of "commitment" perse. Until it really hits them, and if you're the amazing person that I'm sure you are, he'll realise that sooner or later and HE'LL be the one to bring it up, not you. In the meantime, mimick his behaviour to a certain extent. If he wants to meet up on thursdays, but likes to spend time with his friends on Fridays, you do the same. Spend time with YOUR friends on Fridays. ;) (NB: This only applies to relationships younger than a year. If you guys have been dating for a year and its kind of the same as the first month, and he's not any better, you better start wondering if a) there's another woman, b) he's not secretly married, or c) he's mentally retarded and you're better off seeing someone else.)

5. Never bring him to meet your parents before he brings you to meet his. Explanation is simple, he'll feel pressured again. You must wait for him to make the first move towards any kind of "seriousness" in a relationship. (explanation above).

6. If you're dealing with a player: Don't try to change him. Never expressly try to change a man. If he's going to change (I believe people can), he'll do it without you asking. Pointing out his flaws only belittles him, and would make him stubborn. If you can accept it, try. If you cant, leave. Simple simple..

7. Dont play "the game". And by game I mean the "Oh i'm busy tonight, maybe i'll see you tomorrow, I'll call" - and you never call. Look, this is fine if you're dating a boy. But if you're dating a man, he wont appreciate this. Do, however, play it casual. "Oh drinks? Sure. I'll see ya later." If he asks you. BUT PLEASE REMEMBER: DO NOT wait for him. Eg; If he's supposed to call and make dinner plans, and you hear nothing by 6pm, go ahead with your own thing. If he calls last minute and you're busy doing something else, too bad. You don't need to drop everything for him and go running. This would teach him to call on time, and make and effort to attain your attention and time. Play it cool, but still show you're interested: "So sorry, I didn't hear from you and my friends asked me out. Why don't we do dinner tomorrow instead?" - and set the time, so there's no waiting for calls anymore. Or even better, ask him to join you. Or meet up later for drinks. :)

What To Do: (this, however does not apply to assholes. Guys like that you should just leave.)

1. Laugh, smile and be yourself. Really. If he's going to fall in love, he should fall in love with YOU.

2. Take pride in yourself, and how you look. No, I dont mean be a vainpot and take two hours to get ready all the time: But lets put it this way. We feel best about ourselves when we look our best. A little nail polish is always nice, a little lip gloss is always sweet. Just cause you've been dating for a couple of months doesnt mean that you don't need to shave your legs AT ALL, and that you can let that extra little moustache runneth over. Its true: if he loves you, he'll love you for you and a few extra pounds and a little hairgrowth wont matter. But on the way to that 'true love'-ness, he may need a little extra coaxing with the physical matter. ;) And honestly, I think that if a lady respects herself as a woman, would always find the time to trim her hair every few months, and exfoliate and give herself little facials. I always want to look my best when I can, because it makes me feel good. And that sort of positive energy is contagious, and very attractive.

3. Remember this quote from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." (this also relates to my previous post) ~ "Men like thinking their the head. Let them. But we know it is the woman that is the neck: And the neck turns the head in any direction it wants..." So yes. Let the guy be the guy. With a little coaxing and sweet looking pouts, you could probably get him to do anything. Men in general want to please their woman, and to provide them with whatever they can. I'm not saying its okay to coax him into buying you that diamond necklace that's going to cost him a year's salary (that's just being mean, materialistic and .. well, mean.) A nice example of this would be, if dinner crops up, you can mention, "I hear there's that really nice restaurant at Clarke Quay, its supposed to be really good. I'd love to try it sometime. I think you'd like it too." ~ then the decision on where to eat will ultimately be his, but you've got your two cents in already. If your guy just goes, "Uh. McDonalds is nearer", it could be one of two things: Either you're dealing with a scrooge who hates spending money (can you accept that? refer to note above, no6), or he's just plain lazy. If its the second, you could always look at him, and say, "I'd really really like to try it, and it'd ake me so happy if you could take me there tonight.. " and smile smile kiss kiss. If he doesn't succumb to your sweetness, I can't help you already. :P

4. Understand him, or try your very best to. If he loves football, there's nothing you can do during the World Cup. And if he's a gamer, be prepared to lose him for a good 3 hours a day at least. Boys will be boys, I'm sure there's something you can do during that period of time that will take your mind off what a kid you're dealing with. ;) Trust me, he'll love you more for it.

5. Flirt with him. This applies if you've been with him for a month or years. Flirtation is always sexy, it never grows old. It helps to keep the relationship fresh, and guys will always fall for it. A little twinkle in your eye is all it needs to take your relationship back to where it began.

...I can't think of anything else you should do, really. Will update this list when it occurs to me. :)

120 comments:

hobbes said...

Thanks for oversimplifying all of man-kind! Perhaps we only seem simple to you because men are putty in your hands?

My blogCast said...

Great.. I am the first one. Before anyone comments on Andrea's post,

Petition:
http://www.jbtalks.cc/petition/list.php?page=1922&page=1915

For the m'sian out there..

My blogCast said...

Great.. I am the first one. Before anyone comments on Andrea's post,

Petition:
http://www.jbtalks.cc/petition/list.php?page=1922&page=1915

For the m'sian out there..

chocminttruffle said...

i wish i saw this 4 years earlier..this post is seriously even better than the previous one..Andrea,why are you not attached yet??? if i were a guy, i might die for you...haha =)

My blogCast said...

Andrea,

Andrea says "If a guy's interested, he will ALWAYS make time to call, or text you at the very least. If he doesn't (replies the next time you see him with a "Oh darling, I'm sorry, I've been so busy!) - he's just not interested PERIOD. Cut your losses, and move on."

I say "Well, for girls between 17- 27, the still can cut losses and move on but for age 28 and above, you better text the guy back more often!"

Scorpion said...

Andrea, without going into the merits (or lack thereof) of your submissions, your fervour and resolution are in themselves admirable qualities already.

And now, as usual, the floodgates shall open...

Gabe said...

Choco, glad you inderstand how we feel:) hahahaha. Most of us here are dying hahahaha.

Gabe said...

Scorpion: I think there were some problems with my computer. I only realised the new thoughts after I have refreshed my computer. Don't know whether Andrea will go back to the previous blog to see my comment?

Faezah said...

I think those things only apply when you first start dating a guy...I've been with my guy for two and a half years, and trust me..things change..guys really aren't as simple as they seem. They can be just as complexed as girls.

Gabe said...

Andrea, just to add on.

Mens don't like woman to ask so many questions on our whereabout when we are chilling out with our guys friends. I know mens are hard to trust. But if we love you, you can trust us k :)

Faezah said...

I agree with Gabe. If he's still around, he loves you so let him do what he wants to do and trust him the way you want him to trust you. Its always important to remember you're the girlfriend. He already has a mother, he doesn't need another one.

Andrea Fonseka said...

Faz and Gabe: THAT I disagree with...
If a man loves you, and you have insecurities, its up to HIM to make you feel secure in the relationship. First couple of months, its okay for a woman to be worried about her man. He should then do the Manly thing, which is to make her feel secure enough within that period of time, and it will get better.

Men and women are different. At a young age, boys were taught to defend themselves with their fists. If something hurt them, they fought back. Girls on the other hand, could never do that. Hence we learn to protect ourselves by learning to be suspicious and weary, to *avoid* trouble. We were never taught to fight back physically at that tender age. it was never acceptable for us to do that.

Thats why in general, women have a problem trusting. And men must understand that, and EARN our trust. Once its earned, then fine.. the woman must be rational and think about his pro-active actions.

(this was supposed to be in part 2.. hehee)

Gabe said...

Sorry, I have to be kaypo after reading My blogcast comment on girls above 28 years old.

Do you know something, girls are very attractive when they are 28 years and above. These girls know what they want. And men are very attracted to that.

Good horses don't go back to eat those grass they have eaten. Translate from mandarin verse hee hee. So don't bother to page for him to come back k. Everyone deserve someone better if the current one sucks. "It is sad to belong to someone else when the right one comes along."

Conclusion: There will always be someone better for you and fall for you, regardless your age.

good night Andrea:)

good night everyone:)

Andrea Fonseka said...

I would like to add: suspicion and jealousy within reason. Calling and or texting three times a night is fine. Stalking him, following him around.. is not.

Basic principle: If you're weary, ladies, just let him know...the smile smile kiss kiss kinda way. Then its his job to make it better. ;D

Gabe said...

hahahahaha...I am speechless. Can't help but kept smiling:)

Go sleep early k. Good night Girl:)

Good night Faz:)

Scorpion said...

It's not a man's job to pander to a woman's insecurities. If he has put in reasonable effort to assure her of his faithfulness (and of course vice versa must also apply), and if she's still not down with that, and he would do well to say, "No deal. It's off." A man's got so many more important things in his life to see to - career, finances, health, parents - than to waste precious time and energy to attend to a burdensome irrationality.

chocminttruffle said...

i'm split about the trust issue.honestly there r times when i find it hard to trust him.when i call/sms more than twice a night, he tells me he needs his "space". i've learnt to dislike that word.."space"..hmph..what do girls make of that???

and what does it mean when guys look at girls and then turn around and reassure their gf that it's "nothing"??

fengshui316 said...

i totally agree with andrea of her comments on this:
(Men and women are different. At a young age, boys were taught to defend themselves with their fists. If something hurt them, they fought back. Girls on the other hand, could never do that. )

This is a very good point.

Gabe said...

Choco,
IMHO, "Space" is a very lame excuse.

Scorpion has put across a very good point on "reasonable effort to assure her of his faithfulness (and of course vice versa must also apply)."

I have to admit that girls are more sensitive than guys (other than the libra guys hee hee) and they do have 6 sense.

Girls somehow will know when to terik the string or when to let go of the string. You have to communicate with him, and tell him about how you feel and your discomfortness, when you are not with him or while he is somewhere (god knows) partying with his friends. And he has to assure his GF that he will behave himself. Sometimes, girls have to act act abit la. Pretend not to call him, and he will definitely call you and kiss you good night, even he is partying and having fun:)

Sama Sama also for us guys, we will be very worried, if we are kept in the dark, on our GF whereabout and who she is with.

Bottomline, Communicate!

ck said...

A, i can't help but disagree with some of the points that you've mentioned and noticed that some of it seems very similar to the works of David Angelo..

anyway, its hard to stereotype such things for when there is love, the man will bear with all kinds of BS from his woman and vice versa but once the love is out of the equation, even the nicest thing that you do for him/her will seem like animal abuse... :)

i'd like to take the liberty of sharing below some excerpts from a book i think has hit it spot-on with what men REALLY want aka i concur with the observations of the writer:

1) The biggest turn-on for a man is knowing that he is in love with a woman he can REALLY count on, who will REALLY be there for him.

2) Men admire women who want to elevate themselves and pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, and fear women who are social climbers at a man's expense.

3) When he's dating you, he'll constantly be on guard and watching to discern, "does she like me for WHO i am? or for WHAT i can provide?"

"Will she grab the next available cash cow if i was struggling financially?"

"Would she be able to hold down the fort if there was an emergency?"

"Would she leave me for a guy with a new mercedes or bigger house?"

4) Men don't judge how much money you have. They notice HOW YOU BUDGET what you DO have.

5) When a man makes you jealous, it rarely has anything to do with his desire with someone else. When you are upset, he gets the reassurance that you care.

6) Men HEAR what they SEE.

7) Men see how you dress, and then make assumptions about your relationship potential.

8) When a man sees you wearing very revealing clothes, he'll usually assume that you don't have anything else going for you.

9) When he sees you scantily dressed, he is not reminded of how great you look naked. He immediately thinks of all the other men you've slept with.

10) The mental challenge is not, "Can I get her to sleep with me?" The mental challenge is, "Can I get AND KEEP her attention?"

11) It's better to be disliked for being WHO YOU ARE than to be loved for WHO YOU ARE NOT.

12) Men like to be curious. They like to feel that there's more to the story than what they already know. As soon as a man has his guard up, he will not fall in love or get attached. The only way he'll get attached is if you LOWER his guard first.

13) A man will not be thinking about how much he spends on you if he believes that you could be "THE ONE". In the beginning, he will be HAPPY to pick up the tab. (N/B, remember whilst he's picking up the tab, he is also watching out for checkpoint 3 above ;)

14) Men are intrigued by anything that they do not COMPLETELY control.

15) To a man, a relationship without sex represents a relationship with no love, no affection and no EMOTIONAL CONNECTION. (refer to points 6-9, the key thing here is to be classy, not slutty)

16) Always preserve abit of mystery. Keep the sex sporadic and unpredictable. It makes it much more intense for a man. And here I think women like men who are mysterious and unpredictable as well, which explains the "bad boys" syndrome cos' they are not yes-man (read aka wussies from a woman's point of view).

17) When a woman is easily manipulated, he will think that he doesn't have to give as much in the way of commitment in order to keep you there.

18) Woman are constantly being told that amazing sex will win a man's heart. This is false. Just bcos a man sleeps with you doesn't mean he CARES about you. Nor will good sex MAKE HIM CARE about you. (you have to strike a balance with point no. 15).

19)There's nothing more prized to a man than something he had to wait for, work for, or struggle a LITTLE bit to get.

20) When a woman makes a man feel that he's trusted, it makes him feel strong and worthy. It makes him want to be honorable and do the right thing. (this does not apply to players)

21) Men like rules and they like guidelines. If there is something you don't like, he'll respect you for VOICING IT. He wants to know what your "do's and dont's" are. He is NOT a psychic and mind-reader, so if you don't spell it out, he won't know.

22) There's nothing more attractive to a man than a woman who has DIGNITY and PRIDE in who she is.

23) When a woman is trying too hard, a man will usually TEST to see how hard she's willing to work for it. he will start throwing relationship FRISBEES, just to see how hard she'll run and how high she'll jump.

24) He marries the woman who is not a yes-woman and who WON'T lay down like linoleum.

25) He doesn't marry a woman who puts him on a throne. He marries a woman who is his equal...that SPECIAL woman whom he can share all of life's special moments with.

on Walks the Nite said...

a) men and women are wired differently.

* with this understanding... then

b) men and women must KNOW our roles. Different genders have different roles to fulfill (perhaps these "roles" cud be an avenue of discussion in A's other thot provoking posts?? part 3 or 4 in the werkz??)

c) Just PRACTICE It

It could be that both genders have their fair share of insecurities & complexities. However, certain of these insecurities and complexities are particularly reflected in either gender.

In this regard and point of view, then.. no one is "SIMPLE"

(:

p.s above are not learnt from a book but rather, from the school of 'hard knocks'

Gabe said...

Good morning Andrea:)

Good morning everyone:)

CK: Bro, Wonderful effort:) Thanks for sharing them. Agreed with most of them but strongly disagreed point 9, see below.

9) When he sees you scantily dressed, he is not reminded of how great you look naked. He immediately thinks of all the other men you've slept with.

No leh, when I see a girl (the one I love) scantily dressed, I only think of, giving her want she wants, hee hee. No time, to think of the past. Only can focus on the very near future.. hahahaha.

At least I read k:)

Have a wonderful day ahead:)

qarezma said...

just cos a gal is turning 28 doesnt mean she has to be desperate for a guy... a guy not interested is best left where he is, it is not worth the effort, same goes if someone who u r so not interested in is pursuing u... u'd just want that person to give up and stop bothering u

Andrea Fonseka said...

Dear ck,

Who's this David Angelo? lol! He does make some sense, though i don't agree with ALL of it.

I'd like to make one thing clear though: IN NO WAY AM I SAYING THAT THE WOMAN IS 'LOWER' THAN THE MAN. SHE IS HIS EQUAL. Just because someone plays the role of being 'authoritative' does not mean he's "above" his/her partner. Its a mutual respect thing; I refer once again to the relationship the King of Sparta had with his Queen. He was KING. Bloody hell that's above everyone in the nation. But she was HIS QUEEN. Geddit? There was no 'higher power' in the relationship: they respected each other as equals, and rightly so. She ALLOWED him to be her King, and he lifted her up to be his Queen.

And What I mean By "Simple" is.. very often, you do not have to think too deeply on his words or actions. ;)

Scorpion said...

A, have you read Proverbs 31? If you agree that it still applies to the modern world, then how consistent is what you've been saying in this post and the last (including comments) with that passage?

And there must be a reason why there's no corresponding passage for men there.

I shall not say too much lest anyone accuses me of dragging religion into this. Just be careful because if you believe in that Book, the inevitable effect is that some may expect you not to exude values/beliefs/principles inconsistent with it.

ck said...

dear A,

ehh, are you sure you've never heard of david DeAngelo??? LOL.

truth be told, i'm not sure who he is either but he sure as heck is one helluva smart guy! he wrote this cd and books and stuff that he sells online to millions of guys out there and teaches them how to date/win/score/blah blah a woman!

since we're all out on a limb here, and as much as i hate to do this FREE advertisement for him but here you go: http://www.doubleyourdating.com/e/16994/PowerSexuality/

you can find him here and his thoughts. darn, i (we?) should ask him for some referral fee for doing publicising his website for him to the millions of guys here in singapore! =)

i've read his works, some i agree, some i do not. ran through his works with some gal friends, not sure if asian gals would react positively to his methods but it appears that caucasian gal frens reacted more positively to his tactics, jokes and methods. so again, different strokes for different folks.

as for kings and queens...that spartan queen kicks ass and is simply gorgeous! IF u know anyone that comes close, pleaseee do let me know immediately! i'll be there in a heartbeat!!! =)

the smart woman is the one that lets the man think that he "hunted" her successfully but it was SHE who let herself be hunted. simple rite? ;)

p.s - how do you remember the names of 30 alsatians?!? don't they all look alike?

ck said...

gabe, point no. 9 is subjective.. the 25 items are but a list of many more. it's not an absolute truth but to be taken with a pinch of salt...just like how life should be...RELAX LAH! =)

women is like love sometimes, the more you chase it, the more it runs away. so don't worry, be happy! take it easy... LOL

weilin said...

Hello Andrea,
another great post.Better and longer than part one.

Can I add on too??Well,Girls SHOULD also not play this "cold war" thing.Bcos,it is gonna affect the relationship,and it also shows how immature the girls is.But,of course,the girl may not be in the wrong in the first place.Perhaps, she is just worried and concerned.

However,I feel that it is such a waste of time.Is just purely a sense of insecurity kinda of act.You're just wasting three days of your life that you could have been very very happy.

Andrea,It really feels so good that you posted again.Part one,Perspective of a Women. Part two,Perspective of a Guy.Anyway,you need not apologise to us for not posting so long.It doesn't matter.I am sure everyone in this blog,very patient one.hehe=)


Have a great day,Andrea and everyone!

Btw,one last question:Do you speak Chinese or Malay?

weilin said...

Hey Gabe and scorpion

Lets make this post a record.Try to reach 100 comments alright?

Yipee!

CK said...

Gal: You know, gals want a guy who is decisive and can decide what to eat and where to eat, instead of asking me all the time what I want.

Guy: OK. Wanna go grab a bite for dinner?

Gal: Sure. You know there is this nice little restaurant at Clarke Quay that is supposedly really good. I'd love to try it and I think you'll love it too.

Guy:(thinks to himself, hmm...gal likes guys who are manly and decisive). Uh, MacDonalds is nearer. Let's go eat there! *pleased with himself for being decisive*

Gal: scrooge!!

Guy: !!!

==============

Gal: I don't like to play games.

Guy: OK. So you wanna meet up for drinks tonight? I'll call you later.

*Guy was very busy and caught up with work and called 10 mins late*

Gal (PLAYING it cool): So sorry, I didn't hear from you and my friends asked me out. Why don't we do drinks tomorrow?

Guy: !!!

==============

Gal: OMG, I've put on so much weight lately!

Guy: No lah, you look fine.

Gal: Liar!

Guy: !!!

=======================

Gal: OMG, I've put on so much weight lately!

Guy: Yeah, man.

Gal: Are you saying that I'm fat?!?

Guy: !!!

==============================

To be or not to be, what do you wanna be? :P

chocminttruffle said...

gabe,have to clarify..he only says he wants "space" when he's out with his friends or when we quarrel..other than that, it's generally fine..=X

ck,haha.good dialogues above..seems like no matter what guys say(whether they mean it or not),will always end up wrong leh??some of us girls aren't that sensitive lah...=)

Scorpion said...

ck: "...to be or not to be, what do you wanna be?" I just wanna be single lah. Save all the headache :)

weilin: ha, well said. Of course the 100 comments must all be meaningful, and not just frivolous ones just to make the numbers. But if Andrea puts up another blog entry quickly, then all attention will flock to that new entry and we most probably won't see 100 comments here anymore...!

On Walks the Nite said...

Referencing ck's interesting guy/gal dialogue above, tongue-in-cheek some apt examples that men and women are wired differently and therefore patience and understanding are needed (from both sides) in a relationship?

Is it pertinent then to be with someone whose 'wires' are not as much entangled with yours, but more so..connected?

(:

On Walks the Nite said...

Choc:- me thinks that it is perfectly ok and important that individuals spent a 'time-out' in having a personal "ME" time. This may help us to recharge, rejuvernate, and in some instances to repair (esp when a quarrel had errupted)

The word "space" cud have a positive or negative interpretation depending on how it is being used and in what context.

Yes, it cud be interpreted as an excuse or it cud be a plea in allowing him to be Him. Allowing him to be an individual, allowing him some breathing 'space'. (solly, just had to use d word)

Wishing you happiness in your relationship.

(:

Gabe said...

qarezma: give me five! Fully agreed!

choco, Understood what you meant:)

CK: you sure you just wanna remain Single??? "that spartan queen kicks ass and is simply gorgeous! IF u know anyone that comes close, pleaseee do let me know immediately! i'll be there in a heartbeat!!!" =) Hmmm, who was the one saying these words ah?. Think again? hahahahaha..she may even cure your headache :P

Gabe said...

Andrea,

Just wanna add to weilin comment...You don't need to apologise to us. You need your "ME" time once a while k, don't even bother to turn on your computer. Don't feel pressured that you have to visit your blog everyday k. ( we can entertain ourselves here :) right Weilin? Andrea, You are getting busier now and I foresee that your workload will experience a bull run in future.

No doubt, we want you to visit your blog, talk to us and post your reflections and thoughts as often as you can but we don't want you to feel obligated. We want you to keep this blog site alive as long as possible, So don't give yourself unnecesssary stress k. Regardless, We will be here supporting you always k. Thats what Fans are for :) Please take care k. And Andrea, thanks for all you have done for us. Done what?? Putting a smile on our faces, without fail:)

Wishing you all the best:)

Andrea these is the third time Weilin ask this question:Do you speak Chinese or Malay? We are just curious:) no pressure hahahaha..

Gabe

PS: "We" refer to the majority. I don't speak for the rest k:) peace:)

ck said...

gabe: err dude, i think it was scorpion that said he/she prefers to remain single? please re-read above posts again..

owtn & scorpion: c'est la vie dudes! c'est la vie.. =)

chocmintruffle: bitter, sweet AND precious!! i like your name and you already... =)

fengshui316 said...

gsbe is the spokeperson for us.what he said is very meaningful..haha..go gabe

weilin said...

hahas.yeah.Thanks alot gabe for being the spokesman yet again.hehes.No worrries,Andrea.Ypu can take your time to answer.

Btw,Gabe,i think i saw u asking this question before.Hmmmmmm.......After adding my post is 39 comments.argh...61 comments more to go

weilin said...

Did anyone watched today's episode of deal or no deal.Haix,that guy ended up with $1000.What a pity.But,anyway he is a lawyer after all.He must be earning alot.hehe.

Hey gabe,have you ever participated in the homeviewer's contest before?

chocminttruffle said...

on walks the nite-hmm ok.i get your drift but it's hard to understand from a girl's POV lah..=(
ck-haha.my nick's in no way a reference to my personality..just happens to be my bf's fave icecream flavour..heehee =)

Andrea,always wondered...do you play any MMORPG???

Faezah said...

ck: you're damn funny. reading your post made me laugh...and it happens to be very true. sometimes guys really just can't win..but its not like the girls intentionally do that..sometimes they don't realise it.

Honestly, women don't know what we want and we want different things at different times. Guys, only want one thing and they want the same thing all the time. So you can't get them and they can't get you..Tough luck...

We just gotta try to work it out with our partners...none of my relationships have been the same. I've been dominant, subsevient, equal with my partner...and in the end, actually, anything can work well (maybe not great) cos most of my relationships last more than 2 years..

Andrea, maybe you clarified what I was thinking. Some girls are just unreasonably insecure and to that I must say they should really not hound their bfs. Insecurity comes from YOU so you shouldn't expect your partner to have to fix it. Most times, they don't know you're insecure. You either get over it or you talk it out. I don't believe if I'm insecure, my bf will have to make an effort to make me not insecure...esp if he's not doing anything wrong/fishy in the first place. That's just plain selfish and unfair. But yeah, if he's acting dodgey...by all means...tell him to do something about it or leave.

Gabe said...

Hey FS: Thanks bro for seeing me so up:) Honestly, I am learning alot of new things from Andrea's blog everyday. You guys are so passionate in thoughts on every topic Andrea has posted. Keep in up bro. Appreciate it:)

Weilin: Thank you for observing that. Yes, indeed I have asked Andrea that question before after reading last week 8 days. But you have been asking her so many times so I am just trying to help and also curious to know ma. If she does speak, I guess it will be very funny hahahahaha :D
Yap, I have participated in the homeviewer's contest many times but never got selected even I have guessed the right suitcase le. Will try harder next time. I have just printed out the DOND audition, 16 pages long, Why don't you try it out? Closing date is 9th July 2007. Who knows, you may be the lucky one:) I will support you all the way k:)

CK: Erh:) Sorry, My mistake apology. Yap, it was Scorpion. Anyway thanks for the doubleyourdating website:)interesting:)

FAz: Love your comment on
"women don't know what we want and we want different things at different times." Do you know something? Sometimes I do find this behaviour healthy, this is something good if you take it positively. Unpredictable(Towards the good things) is sometime desirable. If not, the relationship will become boring and mandane. Men do love challenges, once a while, especially to make someone they love happy:)

Andrea, Your latest post really gets many girls talking, thinking and sharing:) Wonderful! more please:)

Good night Andrea:)

Good night everyone:)

Gabe

kal said...

basically, not to be arrogant or anything, these are social skills or natural instincts if you will. either you have it or you dont. you can try learning but you wont be as smooth as if you already have it.

On Walks the Nite said...

True to the word Kal. Would just like to add that ppl who lack these 'social skills' and 'natural instincts' but yet, seek to improve themselves are to be saluted and encouraged.

(:

Anonymous said...

Choc:- Yes, guess one can never fully comprehend a woman's heart (& mind). And that is what makes women so interesting and exciting dunch you think?? There's thrill in the 'kill'.. heh heh heh *cheekie chuckle*

(:

On Walks the Nite said...

oops anonymous is actually OWtN above... forgot to add me nick.

toodaloos (:

Gabe said...

Kal: Totally agreed with OWTN, salute and encourage to those seeking to improve themselves.

The key, is to be able to accept our shortcomings and work on it. However, the sad truth is most of us are not acceptive with our flaws, therefore never want to change them, which is pathetic in somehow:) ( just like anonymous friend who did not want to accept the fact that the guy she is interested in, is not interested in her) Sad Hor?

Nobody is perfect, so learn to accept our shortcomings, and persevere to change them and continue to work on it. Hence, transforming us to be a better person:) Believe me, at the end of the day, its not about looks. Its about your personality that will attract people to you:)

My blogCast said...

OK..Enough talk...I am King of Spartans..who wants to be my queen?

on Walks the Nite said...

blogcast:- your invite just eliminated 98% of people in this blog.

Anyway.. i have an aunty..... nah never mind.. darn...

(:

Gabe said...

Slowly la your majesty:)
You don't just approach a girl and ask for her phone number right?:P

Lets see, there are properly now about 6 potential Queens, regularly visiting this blog, excluding Queen Andrea Fonseka. 3 of them have already found their Princes (that I know of. That left you 3) Well, Lets See ..HHhmmmm:)

Gabe said...

OWTN: later qarezma angry with you again:) Last time, your uncle, now your Aunty hahahaha.

Scorpion and Weilin: BTW, Last few comments will not be counted to the 100 comments objectives ah. TCSS only hahahaha.

On Walks the Nite said...

blogcast:- agree with gabe, you dun just go to a gerl and ask for her phone number.. you ask for her address, vital stats and whether got chan or not??

but do wear a helmut, some face protection and rugby grion padding.. it may come in handy.

(:

My blogCast said...

GABE & OWTN,
Didn't u get what Andrea says? She wants King of Spartan, nobody has yet to admit....so there you go, I meet all the requirements...I am the King of Spartan. She wants to be queen. Glad to hear 3 of them found their princes. but you gals are not Andrea. I know Andrea well...she needs King of Spartan!

kal said...

its sparta instead of spartan my friend. so u are saying she needs a cleanliness freak.. interesting..

Gabe said...

Kal, blogcast is king of cleaning company la. He is going to Andrea's house tomorrow to clean la. hahahaha. King of Spartan, btw, Andrea is also a cleanliness freak:) she loves to be on her best, says, in one her the comment. she loves everything to be cleaned. Well, if its Andrea's will, nevertheless, not ours, let it be done :) Amen:)

hahaha, Sorry your majesty, just wanna put a smile on everyone face la hahahaha. Just joking only k. I will go to the website you have introduced k. Me also hate the increasing crime in JB, even I am not a malaysian:)

Gabe said...

Good night Andrea:)

Good night everybody:)

weilin said...

Hello!did anyone miss me?hehes.Hmmm...Hey blogcast no fair you going to Andrea's house.hahas.Shall we be your helpers and tag along too.

Gabe,must count la.Cant u see we are half-way there?But hor,the more we write right,the more Andrea cant see my post.it is so FRONT!!!How can she see my question....

fengshui316 said...

andrea:on the behalf of all my brothers here,can u speak chinese at all?

Scorpion said...

fengshui316: I believe Andrea's answer would be "No". She's already said so in her reply to my comment (when I was using the nick "x-mate" then), posted at her blog entry dated Wednesday 23rd May 2007. Cheers. :)

On Walks the Nite said...

i'm gd @ cleaning windows...
i give spartan windows...
would like to clean her bedroom window.

window window window (x2)

:)

Andrea Fonseka said...

feng: no la cannot speak chinese. :(

what is this now you all talking about spartans cleaning my apartment??? Just to let you know, Prince Skit and Princess Demi don't take kindly to strangers. :P

And what's MMORPG? :S

and Finally, Faz: Yep... I agree. I also practice the "do unto others" principle. I treat my man how I'd appreciate to be treated: in terms of the trust issue thing. If I was out late, and got home really late, I'd text and say I got home alright. Y'know, to let him know I'm safe. Same for him; I would like the same from him. ;P

chocminttruffle said...

MMORPG- massively multiplayer online role-playing game..like granado espada, guild wars, warcraft, FF 11 etc..

Gabe said...

Dear Andrea, It is because of your comment you have posted on 19 June @ 9:36pm. You said about your maid cleaning your place. And Blogcast wantd to be king spartan instead of king Sparta ( pointed out by Kal). So since king Spartan is a cleaniness freak, I figure out he is going to clean your place for you. Hope its clearer now :S Still confuse? nevermind:P

I am sure Prince Skit and Princess Demi don't mind us. Right OWTN, Scorpion, FS and Weilin? Meowwwww:)See, told you you have so many volunteers:)

Weilin, miss you X3:) Miss Andrea too. :)

Andrea: do you peel your finger, when you are stress? hee

On Walks the Nite said...

Well gabe, OWtN not gonna stick around to find out whether prince demi and princess skit don't mind him anot. Not taking any chances ...value his limbs.

When OWtN clean spartan window, OWtN clean from outside on his gondola, no need to go inside. So no need to scare of doggies.

you miss OWtN??

;)

Gabe said...

LETS GET BACK ON TRACK:) and lets talk about SEX:)

Andrea your PT 5: "Flirt with him. This applies if you've been with him for a month or years." Why the period? What about anything less than a month? and Years, How long?

Girls, What do you feel about shopping for lingerie with your love one? Or shop yourself and surprise him? Which is better?

I personally love shopping for lingerie or nighty with the girl I love and choose a few pieces that both of us like and look forward to see her on it(only for a few minute)( cheeky Grin:) Woo la la:P Do you guys and girls agreed with this?

Hope this will generate a little more discussions and touch the 100 marks:P Right Weilin? :)

Scorpion said...

gabe: since when did I volunteer?! Didn't, k. Count me out lah... *shrugs

Gabe said...

OWTN: Of course I miss you:) but I guess the girls miss you more, especially qarezma. And of course my blogcast too. Is your uncle and aunty still available? hahahahahaha:) Cheers:D

On walks the Nite said...

Gabe:- Thanks, I needed that!!

Anyway, I shy to talk about Sex, you all carry on while I learn from you, the experts.

Anyway, regarding lingerie I do online shopping. Discreet, Convenient and Speedy.

Over and Out

(:

Faezah said...

Andrea: Yup. That's the nice thing to do but sometimes my bf also doesn't msg me when he's home late but I'm usually asleep so I can't be bothered to get angry. He's a guy..he can take care of himself. But if I was out late (which doesn't happen much), I'd be sure to tell him when I get home.

I sure hope I get to meet you when school starts..it would be nice to know what you're like in real life...cos I know as a celeb you have to keep up with being prim and proper...but everyone has a quirky side..

Scorpion said...

faezah: you gonna be starting 1st year in NUS Law Fac this year?

chocminttruffle said...

gabe,alamak.how can ask such questions??? see,even faz don't wanna answer..haha..i think unless the girl's very westernized,open-minded etc (generally speaking of cos), i wouldn't like to shop for lingerie like that.. at least me and me bf don't. after a while,you get a hang of the guy's preference then you buy it on the sly. much more exciting (& surprising) that way.works for me hehe =X

Andrea Fonseka said...

Sex? Cannot la my manager dun let me talk about that here. :P heehee.. if i talk about everything here, then all my interviews in magazines/etc will be boring right? ;)

but I'll let all of you talk about it: new question. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A GIRL THAT 'PUTS OUT' ON A FIRST DATE?

(this one should get the ball rolling. ;) )

Scorpion said...

Definitely not wife material. And definitely not mother material for your children.

Faezah said...

Scorpion: Actually I'm goin into my 3rd year in NUS Law Fac oredi..I'm only one year her junior but I have never ever seen her around school..which is strange cos Bukit Timah damn small campus and only has law students..

Gabe: If you wana buy her lingerie just so she could have something nice...its romantic. If you're expecting something in return...then its just not cool. Thus I buy my own stuff thank you...though when I'm undecided...as I usually am, I ask for input..that's about it.

Faezah said...

Eh wait...about the girl putting out on the first date..

Its soooo unacceptable. Hello, we live in Singapore..not the US.

Religious perspective:
I think some things are just wrong and will always be wrong. Sins are sins...no amount of culture can make God change something into a non-sin eg. pre-marital sex. So I remind myself life is temporary and for the momentary pleasure, I will not risk ending up in hell.

If you don't believe in God, heaven or hell:
Well, reputations will last you a lifetime...I know. History will always creep back into your life one way or another..and being known as "easy","cheap" or "slutty" will have some kind of negative consequences in the future. Imagine being married to a girl who's been around...Even a guy wouldn't find that too appealing.They say if you love someone, you don't care about their past...Yeah, people just say that in self-denial. Oh, they care..they just love you enough to pretend they don't care. Trust me on this one. No guy wants to be told by someone else that he's slept with his wife.

Even if the guy is "the ONE" who you will end up marrying (like, how do you know on a first date anyway?)..Its still worth waiting...and I don't mean a couple more dates..

Call me conservative but that's about my two cents worth.

weilin said...

Hahas,yeah gabe.I don't mind going Andrea's house.Sex???hmmm....thats a little sensitive don;t u think.hahas.Anyway,15 more comments and we will hit 100.I am sure Andrea wants it to hit 100 too right?

weilin said...

Ok,lets get on with it.As what Andrea posted: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A GIRL THAT 'PUTS OUT' ON A FIRST DATE?


Well,first of all,I think it will be talking about exes.It is really annoying when a guy tells the woman on a first date about his past girlfriends.

Scorpion said...

faezah: Eh, if you say you're going onto 3rd year and look forward to seeing Andrea in school, then that means you're not going on exchange programme huh?

Anyway you sure will see her one lah, especially since 3rd years and 4th years attend a lot of lessons together.

Faezah said...

scorpion:
nopes...unfortunately i didn't get a place for exchange...i don't know why. but its ok...i really hope i get into the NYU programme cos pple who go on exchange are not eligible for that. maybe if all else fails i'll do my masters overseas. see how i'm attempting to console myself? its so demoralising to have to compare yourself to freaking smart pple. i feel so stupid.

err..yeah. maybe we'll be in the same modules..maybe not. see how. nonetheless, i'd like to get to know her..err..not by cleaning her house though..i hardly clean my own room..not that its a major mess *cough*

Faezah said...

eh...are u in NUS Law too?

Scorpion said...

faezah: I was. But from a time too ancient to speak of. :)

chocminttruffle said...

we should have a separate forum from comments box..that way,we can all see what everyone wrote regardless of how far "in front" the msg is..

so many NUS ppl here! i was from psych..grad 2006...=)

putting out on the FIRST date??woah.ok.like definitely NO NO NO.it says quite a (horrible) lot about the girl's character no? personally, i'd wait a few months to be sure(i'm a prude lah) heh..=X

pathfinder said...

"...we live in Singapore...not the US."

Faz...

These actions would also be frowned upon in the US, which is more conservative than much of Europe...their rationale being the same as yours.

The movies aren't representative of CA, and CA certainly isn't representative of the US.

pathfinder said...

Faz...

...and if you get into the NYU program, you'll get to see for yourself.

(You'll also have to start writing "program", and not "programme"!)

Faezah said...

pathfinder: I'll take note...thanks...its the Brit-ish education...I'm programmed to spell it like that. But i disagree about Americans being conservative...maybe they are with regards to homosexuals..but heterosexual sex is not high up on their "thou shalt not do" list.

Good night peeps...

Gabe said...

Hey Everyone:)

Me just joking about the "sex" la. At least, It generated a little exitement:)

Well first of all I want to say something to FAz :

Faz, I picked this sentence up from your comment " its so demoralising to have to compare yourself to freaking smart pple. i feel so stupid." Dear, Do you realised that by saying these words, Your own thoughts and attitudes were condemning you to mediocrity. Dear, your own wrong thinking can keep you from your best. If you don't think you can have something good, then you will never will.
After reading all your comments, I realised that you are a very smart lady. btw, I love reading your comments. You are such a passionate person. In my heart, and I sure everyone here agreeds, you are one heck of a smart lady k. So stop saying that you are stupid k :) Hug Hug:) Sorry, Me just telling you the truth:) and also want to share with everyone also:)

I came across these thoughts after reading JOEL OSTEEN Book "Your Best Life Now" 7 step to livivng your full potential, in chapter 1 "enlarge your vision".

And back to Andrea's question:)
If she can just 'puts out' on the first date. God Knows, How many times she tried that on, how many guys before? EErrr...Shall not continue... So NO! NO! NO! Sorry:)

Be careful guys, Please know your date background and history before you try anything funny. There is no free lunch k. Be Patience, Good things are worth the wait. No hurry especailly involving emotion.

Just my thoughts:)

Gabe:)

Nite Andrea:)

Nite everyone:) Sweet dreams:)

Got to work tomorrow:( so sad:( can't drink tonight hee hee

Gabe said...

Hey Faz:) bur lomp tidoh lagi?

pathfinder said...

Faz...

Have you been there? I lived there for years, and ran all over the place...disagree at your peril.

;)

You WERE talking about the "first date" thing, and not their general attitudes (which would obviously be less conservative than ours)?

Faezah said...

Gabe: wah...you so sweet lah. thanks..but you don't know the pressure. singapore is a good place to stress yourself out to death while you are still young..haha.

Pathfinder:ok...then.i won't take your word for it cos i'm not so easily swayed..but where you come from is noted =) i'm still a small girl...what do i know rite?

Gabe said...

Faz: :) You are welcome:) I understand what you are going through. Believe me, I know what is pressure and stress. I totally, agreed with you on stressing yourself out to death while you are still young. Me too, stressing myself out when I am still young. Would love to share my experience with you on what I am going through now. But this is not the place hee:) Please be mindful that we are human afterall. I am fully supportive with your endeavor and loves your fighting spirit:) However, whatever things you do in life, you must always plan for an exit strategy k. Most importantly, you have to survive to fight another day k. Best Wishes Dear:)

Think Andrea can elaborate on that:) She is a survival, and she is gifted with superb time management skill:)

Gabe said...

Just came across this interesting articles: Should Women Make Men Wait For Sex?

Thought it has a little relation with Andrea's question: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A GIRL THAT 'PUTS OUT' ON A FIRST DATE? :) Just wanna share and have fun reading:


An old saw has it that before you sleep together, the woman has the upper hand in the relationship, whereas after committing the naked hula dance, power devolves onto the man. I'm not sure that's entirely true, but it suggests that, in some people's view anyway, a women can use sex to manipulate her partner.

Can you use sex to manipulate your partner into falling in love? I'm not sure a person can, under any circumstances, force or finagle someone else to fall in love with them -- at least not to "fall in love" in any healthy or meaningful way. Both Shakespeare ("Love? His affections do not that way tend.") and Bonnie Raitt ("I can't make your heart feel something it won't.") could back me up here. And even if it were possible, would you really want to manipulate somebody into falling in love with you? Me, I'd prefer it to be a matter of choice.

I think guy and a gal should operate on a sex schedule that's comfortable and satisfying to both of them. Don't do it:

(a) artificially early, as a means of "hooking" your guy or to make up for other gaps in the relationship;

or (b) artificially late, as a means of manipulating his feelings (see above);

Just treat it like any other important facet of your relationship. If love is to emerge, it will in due time. If not, well, at least you had some fun finding out (I'd hope).


Comments ? :)

:) Hope this will generate a little more to reach the 100 comment target :D HAHAHAHAHAH

Faezah said...

Gabe:Thanks for the advice..yeah...would love to hear about how people survive stressful stuff.

Definitely..anyone who can handle law school and something else...whatever it is...esp a busy career has commendable time management...two thumbs up for Andrea! =)

weilin said...

Hello everybody!

havent seen all of your one day!yup,and only 24 hrs,this comment thingy has hit more than 20 comments.yay!7 more comments to go!!

Hello Andrea,i wonder how ur weekend go?did u have fun over the weekend?(gosh,shouldnt be asking this.Only saturday only)Anyway,how was your saturday?Hope u spent time resting.

pathfinder said...

Faz, we'll just have to agree to disagree. :)

pathfinder said...

"WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A GIRL THAT 'PUTS OUT' ON A FIRST DATE?"

That depends on whether you're asking for permission, or for forgiveness... :O

I'm KIDDING...SSKK (also known as "smile smile kiss kiss"). ;)

Would I think less of such a girl? Yes.

Would I complain if she wanted to give me a demonstration? No.

Would I be concerned about getting an STD? Probably.

Gabe said...

Good night everyone:)

Sweet dreams and have wonderful Sunday:)

markliew said...

Hi all,

Here's sharing a good one. Wonder will it happen to our Andrea next time......... :)

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last, it was so hard to wait.

Andrea: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

Andrea: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

Andrea: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking?

Andrea: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

Andrea: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

Andrea: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top!!!

Anonymous said...

hahaha. i dont usually like to read blogs. but yours is interesting ;D

-anon.

matsu said...

is this the 100th? is there a prize? :) heh YAY.

Gabe said...

Good morning Andrea:)

Good morninig everyone:)

Yes, Its Champagne time:) Congrats Andrea:)

Your Blog comments has reached 100 in 4 days:) Thats an average of 25 comments per day, the most since your started your blog:)

Have a good day ahead. Hope you have rested well and ready for the packed schedule next week:)

weilin said...

YAY!we hit 100 comments!

ck said...

Gal: What do you think of a gal who puts out on the first date?

Guy: OK, lor.

Gal: You PERVERT!

(N/B - substitute with horndog, sex-maniac, horny b*stard, dirty old man, etc)

Guy: !!!

=======================

Gal: What do you think of a gal who puts out on the first date?

Guy: Hell, yeah!

Gal: Are you saying that I'm UGLY?!?!?!

(N/B - substitute with fat, fugly, not attractive, not sexy, ugly, etc... did i say ugly?)

Guy: !!!

===========================

To Bee or not to Bee, what do you want to Bee? =)

chocmintruffle: Better not let your beau eat too much chocmintruffled flavoured ice-cream, it's known that mint is very detrimental to one's crown jewels. it may cause his olympic swimmers to become oh-limp-ed swimmers.. ;)

faezah: haha, glad that you liked the cryptic humour, you'll make a super fine lawyer some day!

so, do i get a treat from you for making you smile? =)

fazzy said...

pathfinder: that seems to be the consensus. i wasn't gonna fight you just cos i disagree..not all law students want to win all the time...though most do =p

ck: thank you. you'd make a fine stand up comedian yourself..even this last one was funny..

fazzy said...

oh yah...100 and still going...awesome..

Jefferson said...

So I've missed alot since... the last comment.. haha.. You're 110% sure, Andrea.

chocminttruffle said...

ck: WAH. sure or not?! does mint do that? it looks so...harmless! at the risk of sounding risque, my bf's still doin' fine *nudge nudge wink wink* =X

R. said...

Don't you think ur explanation is TOO generalized?i mean,does it really apply to MOST men.Or is it now an old concept cause times are changing and so are people.Is it possible that MAYBE,just maybe there are new breeds of men out there who would be distinctive than what u precribed here?Just a thought.

Ril said...

does anyone even believe this .... crap???

Ril said...

wait a min! i saw some good points -eg UNderstand him ~ my gf watches soccer with me even though she doesn't know what offside is, plays fighting games on xbox and warcraft with me!

flirt with him~ woohoo

laugh and be yourself ~ she has the most gorgeous smile in the world

Take pride ~ she takes 15 mins to put on make up! but longer for those which is...worth it. Am I lucky or what.

Ryan said...

3 - If you want to write, you should, if he cares for you he will only like it.

4. commitment is not something a man is concerned about, it's what a boy is.....

I agree with most of this, but when it comes to commitment, I suppose it's coming from someone who 'is older than his years' from what I'm told, is something that could not phase someon if they are men.

It's part of being one.

Ryan

Anonymous said...

I've heard about girlfriends who have boyfriends complaining that if the girl gives in all the time or appears "needy" in a relationship, it's kinda a turnoff for the guy? As in, he'll feel bored because the "chase" isn't there anymore and he doesn't have to put in as much effort as before since he can see that she's committed to him? Yet I don't think that girls should always toy around the r/s or play hard to get. Any opinions on this??

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