Auntie Agony's Answer

Hallo people,

So sorry I've been neglecting the blog slightly.... School and work is just realy crazy right now. :( Its been tough, but I think I'm handling it okay.

Anyway so yes: Here's my answer to the problem below:

My dear Friend,

You have already indicated you dont want a relationship from this point forward now.

So the next step is to do (in my humble opinion) as follows)

1. Tell him.

Sit him down and tell him very calmly (no tears!! no regret an NO telling him you want to give the long distance thing a try!)

It should go like this:

"[Listen, (Option: insert derogatory term like Jackass, Dumbass, Jerk, etc).] Thank you very much for telling me all this in advance to save me the heartache of you acting like a jerk when you're gone. I now realise that is where all of this stand with you; and your views on this relationship. I appreciate your intentions of wanting to carry this out until you leave, however I am unable to do so as I have more pride in myself than to allow my time, emotions and energy to be enjoyed by you just because circumstances make it more convenient for you (ie you've not left yet). I have been good to you, as a girlfriend and as a friend.... and I wish you best of luck in finding someone who will give you what I gave." (last bit is most important to say).

And that's it. No more calls, no meeting up, nothing. Show no emotion because look at it this way; he's done you a favour by telling you all that stuff about the future. Granted you feel less about yourself now as he doesn't see the relationship worthy of a short one hour long distance relationship, but we've already established he's stupid and self-centred and thus his feelings do not reflect on you as a person. So please dont beat yourself up about it.

2. I suspect he will call within two weeks. He will beg to give it a go, telling you he was dumb etc. Then its your choice as to whether or not you want to give him a chance.

But no. 2 will happen ONLY if you totally do not show him any emotion that you're sorry he wants to end it all when he's gone. And to do that you must remind yourself this at all times: HE'S JUST NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU IF HE DOESN'T EVEN WANT TO TRY. And he's self centred, and REALLY you're better off without him. And its such a good thing you know this now, rather than later. And c'mon woman - if you walk up to some guy who will be gone in a coupla months, saying, "Hey man. Wanna have a fun relationship with no emotions attached? You wont have to call me when you leave town to go back to whatever it is you're going to that's only an hour away from here." - you think he'll say no? Sheesh. I'm mad at the man to have done this to you, but pushing my emotions aside.. You dont need to be mad. Becuase rather than you having to 'see the light' by yourself when he leaves, he did you a favour and showed you the light now.

You're so much better than him, and what he has to offer. Rather than tell him that when you have your talk with him, SHOW it to him. He will see for himself when you act indifferent, and when you really feel and act thankful that he's ejected himself from your life and heart through his actions and his words. You are a strong, strong lady. And a smart smart one too. And he's dumb dumb to not see that he's throwing away something that could potentially be so beautiful. You will find someone else as soon as you open yourself up and give some fellows a chance. So do that, and I hope it works out for you.

**I realise I am totally on my friend's side on this one.. .but can you blame me when I *know* what an amazing person she is? ;) No, really, she's a beautiful, smart, witty girl. And she deserves so much better than that.

Oh and just thought you'd like to know; She did what I said, and he did come back to her like I predicted... and after alot of thought, she decided to give it another go. He's now treating her how she deserves to be treated. :D