Dear Lord, Thank You.

I know I share alot with you guys on this blog, I really feel like I've gotten to know (some) of you rather well even... I know somethings in life should be kept private (and I do maintain a high level of privacy inspite of this blog, as some of you would now come to realise), but I feel that hey, there is no harm in letting you guys know the following, and what's more I'd probably get a little more prayer towards the cause.

I recieved the news at about 3pm on Saturday. Dad called me up to say that after my nagging, he finally went to the cardiac doctor and got his heart checked out. He's been having miss-beats regularly, and sometimes felt uncomfortable. They found four clogged arteries, one of which is severely blocked. Needless to say that the photoshoot I had to go for the new drama I'm shooting, Enbloc, involved a rather puffy-eyed Andrea.

That night I had to shoot CarrotCake, so I could only fly back then the scene wrapped, which was at about 8am. Packed up, went home, managed to spend some time with my now 69 year old father. My mother kept telling me to be strong and brave for him, so he never saw me shed a tear or rack a sob. I'm his "little girl", you see, and it'd break his heart to see me cry... all I could bring myself to say was, "I love you daddy. It's gonna be fine, I know it."

He checked into the National Heart Centre in KL on the night of Sunday, and we returned Monday morning as he was all scrubbed up to have an Angioplasty. Failure of that procedure would mean he'd need to go in for a bypass (open heart surgery). I've never seen my father sick before, so seeing his grey hairs tucked under a paper shower-cap, with a blanket pulled up to his chin just broke my heart. I realised that he's not so young anymore, and this could well be the last time I saw my dad. He was so brave for us as well, and I immediately had flashbacks of how he used to pick me up from school, how he got mad when I flicked water on his spectacles (but not really la), how he used to sit me down on his knee when I was still little enough for him to hold my weight. I used to drive with him to go "durian hunting"... I only allowed myself to cry after we all said "Okay la! I'll see you soon! :D" to him, to keep him brave.

The surgery took longer than expected. We overheard nurses apologising to other patients waiting to go into surgery that the current case (my dad) had some "complications". My mother's eyes widened and she had to try very hard to keep it together.

An hour and a half later than expected, my daddy came out of the operation room. His skin still looked good, which means he didn't loose much blood. But an Angioplasty doesn't involve alot of bloodloss anyway. We findout later that he had a clot that was a little tricky, so they took a while to get it sorted.... but they did in the end. Dad spent a night under observation (heavily protesting, of course. Doctors make the worst patients. lol), and I had to fly back at 5pm for another shoot of Carrotcake (which was last night) which meant that I had to work till 7am following all the hospital drama.

But who cares really. I'd readily stay awake for three days, weeks, months or years if it meant that I'd be able to be with my dad a little bit longer. I felt so bad having to leave him yesterday while he was still recuperating, but I explained that I had to as if I didn't shoot it today, I'd have to do it in a week's time anyway - which would interrupt my wanting to go home then to see how he's doing.

Work is really unforgiving, I am close to telling everyone to shove it as I need to have space for myself and to travel back home... but contracts have been signed, dates have been fixed, and it'll be immensely selfish of me to interrupt the lives of other (actors) for my own needs right now. All I can do tonight before I close my eyes (at 1opm, for a change!!), is say a small prayer for my dad, to thank God for making everything move so smoothly for him. I'll probably get through this month a little more tired than usual, but I guess its a price I gotta pay for choosing to do what I do. My sisters are flying back from London and Perth this weekend, I'd love to be there but will only be able to get in on the 11th evening and will need to fly out on the early morning of the 14th (Last day of shoot for CarrotCake on the 14th at 10am.)

So, yes. Things are somewhat sorted now, not to worry. But I will be a little too busy to blog much over the next few weeks, thank you for understanding, dear readers. This post has actually been therapeutic for me to type actually. lol.